Since the age of time man has wanted to know how they can be more attractive to the opposite sex. If you would like to know the sexy secrets of being noticed by women then read on. You will find these expert recommendations easy to follow and practice as they are not one bit complicated. I'm sure you will see fast results!
Love yourself! Its been said time and time again, if you like yourself you look happier and attract more people. take a long hard look at yourself and find one thing you can be thankful for. Take time to get in front of a mirror and smile at yourself. think of all the good things about yourself and appreciate them, admire so of the things you can do. Is there something you can do which is difficult? Are you gifted in anyway? Be grateful for your talents. You will find yourself becoming more successful with women by the day. People like happy people. not just women!
Get out there! Being popular increases your attractiveness, and also your ability to meet women. If you are never seen then what is the point? you can be popular if no one knows you are even on the planet! Take up classes, join a gym or do some voluntary work, this is sure to get you known by people.
ASK! I'm sure you are not an egomaniac but still try not to obsess over yourself. be natural. Ask her what she likes or is interested in. Women like to talk to men who are interested in similar things, can form opinions and talented conversation. You are there for her remember that. As you find you have more and more in common your friendship will blossom and then who knows?
Use Admiration. Do you really like those people that always find fault in others? No? Neither does anyone else! Pick up on the good things people do and sincerely admire them. At the end of the day, when all is said and done women like good guys...sometimes it takes a while, but they do...YOU NEED TO BE ONE OF THEM.
Kindness. Be kind, do something nice for her. Maybe a small favor, maybe a gentlemanly gesture such as holding a door open or helping her with her bags or seat. Maybe even a small thoughtful gift. Women mark men on factors such as kindness, Again, you need to be in it to win it!
Allow her to give. When you allow someone to reciprocate you are able to enhance your relationship and strengthen your bonds together. If she is talented at something let her do it, or maybe let her help you do something. By interacting you will grow together.
Let your ego GO! I know guys love to show off, but seriously its not cool to do it all the time! showing off all the time does not impress women. In order to break through boundaries you need to lower your ego and find some humility. Arrogance is a massive turn off, and by trying to be good at everything all of the time you are laying yourself foul of this massive mistake.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
I'm Desperate! Tell Me How to Stop My Divorce!
Marriage is defined as "a close and intimate union" between two people, but if you feel as though this no longer applies and you are on the brink of divorce, you will need to act fast.
There is no simple solution or clear-cut answer to the question "how to stop my divorce". Every relationship is different, and it is wise to exercise caution when dealing with such a sensitive situation. Pay attention to your partner and your interactions together. When do you fight the most? What do you fight about? Be as forthcoming and honest as possible when thinking about these things.
Pat yourself on the back and give yourself some credit. Anyone willing to seek help and ask "how to stop my divorce?" is showing that they care enough about the relationship to realize they aren't perfect and they do need help.
There is an old notion that through trying to understand your partner, you will also be understood. It may seem hard at first, but putting your partner first and trying to understand their motives and feelings will go a long way to repairing the holes in your relationship.
Remember that there really is no "I" in "Team". Sometimes during an argument, couples take different standpoints and see it as a competition where one person must 'lose' for the other to 'win'. This pits each person against each other, and does nothing to resolve the issues at hand. Arguments aren't just about fact vs. fact; it also involves one person's feelings vs. the others. Making the other person's feelings "wrong" or "irrelevant" will do nothing but make them feel worthless and unheard.
Though at times it may seem that no matter how many times or different ways you wonder 'how to stop my divorce', remember that it is possible. Though not all marriages succeed or survive the tribulations life throws at them, a strong relationship can always be repaired and made to be stronger and better than before.
There is no simple solution or clear-cut answer to the question "how to stop my divorce". Every relationship is different, and it is wise to exercise caution when dealing with such a sensitive situation. Pay attention to your partner and your interactions together. When do you fight the most? What do you fight about? Be as forthcoming and honest as possible when thinking about these things.
Pat yourself on the back and give yourself some credit. Anyone willing to seek help and ask "how to stop my divorce?" is showing that they care enough about the relationship to realize they aren't perfect and they do need help.
There is an old notion that through trying to understand your partner, you will also be understood. It may seem hard at first, but putting your partner first and trying to understand their motives and feelings will go a long way to repairing the holes in your relationship.
Remember that there really is no "I" in "Team". Sometimes during an argument, couples take different standpoints and see it as a competition where one person must 'lose' for the other to 'win'. This pits each person against each other, and does nothing to resolve the issues at hand. Arguments aren't just about fact vs. fact; it also involves one person's feelings vs. the others. Making the other person's feelings "wrong" or "irrelevant" will do nothing but make them feel worthless and unheard.
Though at times it may seem that no matter how many times or different ways you wonder 'how to stop my divorce', remember that it is possible. Though not all marriages succeed or survive the tribulations life throws at them, a strong relationship can always be repaired and made to be stronger and better than before.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Surprise Your Man
Hello World, I am back to give you some ideas how you can surprise your man. I surprised my man on our anniversary on October 1, 2009 we have been married 5 years now. These are some of the steps I did for my man. You can take these steps below to show your man how much you love him.
* First thing I did is Plan the day before on what I want to do for our Anniversary. I know that my man have to work the day before and on our Anniversary that was my two days off from my job but I work the day after.
* I went to the store the day before I bought two rib eyes steak, two big baked potatoes with the trimmer,broccoli, yellow cake mix, strawberry,nectarine and whip cream. A strawberry and nectarine shortcake is not a shortcake without the whip cream that is the best part. Don,t forget your man favor drink. Also I had bought some candles and a table cover to set up our dinner area for the surprise I plan for our Anniversary.
* When my man got up from bed on the day on our Anniversary to go to work. I gave him a kiss and told him I love him and ask him what time he get off from work. He forgot it was our Anniversary I never told him it was our Anniversary because, I want to surprise him when he come home. It was early in the morning so, I got on my computer to check my website to read the feedback on how the viewer like my site. After I view my site I went back to the store in bought my man a card and a gift. I will like to share this card with you because, I feel like this is my man all the way. The card have three steps about how I feel about my man check it out below!
* My husband is a man of character who understands commitment and does more than his share to make his family comfortable, safe, and secure, I adore him.
* My partner is a man who is patient, optimistic, caring, and wise. His sense of humor and support hold me up when I can't do it myself. I'm grateful for him.
* My friend is the only man with whom I can share my deepest secrets and know they'll be safe. Time with him is always good. I cherish him.
You are all of those things and more to me. I'm so thankful you came into my world, for if you hadn't, I'm sure I never would have known the kind of happiness you've brought into my life. What a beautiful card now let me finish telling you what I did for my man.
* When I came back from the store I set up our dinner area to prepare for a candle light dinner for two.
* I call him to make sure what time he will be coming home. I start prepare my dinner around 3:30 p.m so the food can be hot when he get here. The card and the gift I bought I put it on the dinner table by the candles between two wine glasses.
* My man made it home around 4:30 p.m I was sitting outside when he arrive. I ask him how was his day and gave him a kiss on his lip. He went in the house into the kitchen I walk behind him too see his reaction. He was surprise when he walk in the kitchen to see our dinner area was set up and the card and gift was on the table between the wine glasses. He ask me what day it was I said it is the first of October then he realize today is our Anniversary." He laugh and gave me a big hug and kiss and told me he love me. Before we sit down for dinner he said he will be back shortly and keep the food hot. He came back with a cell phone I have talk with him about getting a new cell phone early in September that I was going to pay for. He said this is for you with the new phone # already program I was very happy and surprise! I hug him tightly and gave him a kiss little things like this make me love him more and more. When I was in my teen's 20's and 30's I was mistreated I tell you about this another time. I ask him was he ready to eat he said he want to take a shower first before we eat dinner. When he got into the shower I put in a special movie to heat up the rest of our day and night. When he got out the shower we ate a wonderful candle light dinner for two I didn't want to play the movie yet until I have taken a shower.
* I turn on the T.V for him before I got in the shower I let him watch whatever because, I was not ready for us to watch the movie together yet. I told him I am going to take my shower hoping he will come in when I am in the shower surprising me. It work! Well you know what happen after that LOVE,SEX and we was both FULL. When we got out the shower then I decided to play the movie we watch it for 10 minutes and that was it we start all over again from the BED-ROOM to the LIVING-ROOM, and back into the SHOWER. After that we kiss each other good night so we can be ready for work the next day. Our Anniversary was short but, we had a good time it really don't take a lot to enjoy your man or partner.
All I am saying you can have a good time at home or you can take your man out in have a picnic on the beach for two or with your family. It is several thing you can do to satisfy your man to keep him full and happy. I am still not finish with my man yet, I have a surprise for him this weekend. Some people in the world are shame to talk about SEX. Life is all about showing your man or partner how much you love him or her that include SEX and, keeping him or her FULL that include eating. So don't be shame to show your emotion with your man or partner you just need to do it in a respectful way. If you don't satisfy your man someone else will.
Take care of your man and he will take care of you. Don't get me wrong every man is different it don't hurt to try. Remember always keep your man curious, full, happy, and surprise. Give me your feedback in tell me what you thank. Also you can go to my website how-to-keep-your-man.net or maybedop.com for updates on recipes and gifts to keep your man full and happy.
* First thing I did is Plan the day before on what I want to do for our Anniversary. I know that my man have to work the day before and on our Anniversary that was my two days off from my job but I work the day after.
* I went to the store the day before I bought two rib eyes steak, two big baked potatoes with the trimmer,broccoli, yellow cake mix, strawberry,nectarine and whip cream. A strawberry and nectarine shortcake is not a shortcake without the whip cream that is the best part. Don,t forget your man favor drink. Also I had bought some candles and a table cover to set up our dinner area for the surprise I plan for our Anniversary.
* When my man got up from bed on the day on our Anniversary to go to work. I gave him a kiss and told him I love him and ask him what time he get off from work. He forgot it was our Anniversary I never told him it was our Anniversary because, I want to surprise him when he come home. It was early in the morning so, I got on my computer to check my website to read the feedback on how the viewer like my site. After I view my site I went back to the store in bought my man a card and a gift. I will like to share this card with you because, I feel like this is my man all the way. The card have three steps about how I feel about my man check it out below!
* My husband is a man of character who understands commitment and does more than his share to make his family comfortable, safe, and secure, I adore him.
* My partner is a man who is patient, optimistic, caring, and wise. His sense of humor and support hold me up when I can't do it myself. I'm grateful for him.
* My friend is the only man with whom I can share my deepest secrets and know they'll be safe. Time with him is always good. I cherish him.
You are all of those things and more to me. I'm so thankful you came into my world, for if you hadn't, I'm sure I never would have known the kind of happiness you've brought into my life. What a beautiful card now let me finish telling you what I did for my man.
* When I came back from the store I set up our dinner area to prepare for a candle light dinner for two.
* I call him to make sure what time he will be coming home. I start prepare my dinner around 3:30 p.m so the food can be hot when he get here. The card and the gift I bought I put it on the dinner table by the candles between two wine glasses.
* My man made it home around 4:30 p.m I was sitting outside when he arrive. I ask him how was his day and gave him a kiss on his lip. He went in the house into the kitchen I walk behind him too see his reaction. He was surprise when he walk in the kitchen to see our dinner area was set up and the card and gift was on the table between the wine glasses. He ask me what day it was I said it is the first of October then he realize today is our Anniversary." He laugh and gave me a big hug and kiss and told me he love me. Before we sit down for dinner he said he will be back shortly and keep the food hot. He came back with a cell phone I have talk with him about getting a new cell phone early in September that I was going to pay for. He said this is for you with the new phone # already program I was very happy and surprise! I hug him tightly and gave him a kiss little things like this make me love him more and more. When I was in my teen's 20's and 30's I was mistreated I tell you about this another time. I ask him was he ready to eat he said he want to take a shower first before we eat dinner. When he got into the shower I put in a special movie to heat up the rest of our day and night. When he got out the shower we ate a wonderful candle light dinner for two I didn't want to play the movie yet until I have taken a shower.
* I turn on the T.V for him before I got in the shower I let him watch whatever because, I was not ready for us to watch the movie together yet. I told him I am going to take my shower hoping he will come in when I am in the shower surprising me. It work! Well you know what happen after that LOVE,SEX and we was both FULL. When we got out the shower then I decided to play the movie we watch it for 10 minutes and that was it we start all over again from the BED-ROOM to the LIVING-ROOM, and back into the SHOWER. After that we kiss each other good night so we can be ready for work the next day. Our Anniversary was short but, we had a good time it really don't take a lot to enjoy your man or partner.
All I am saying you can have a good time at home or you can take your man out in have a picnic on the beach for two or with your family. It is several thing you can do to satisfy your man to keep him full and happy. I am still not finish with my man yet, I have a surprise for him this weekend. Some people in the world are shame to talk about SEX. Life is all about showing your man or partner how much you love him or her that include SEX and, keeping him or her FULL that include eating. So don't be shame to show your emotion with your man or partner you just need to do it in a respectful way. If you don't satisfy your man someone else will.
Take care of your man and he will take care of you. Don't get me wrong every man is different it don't hurt to try. Remember always keep your man curious, full, happy, and surprise. Give me your feedback in tell me what you thank. Also you can go to my website how-to-keep-your-man.net or maybedop.com for updates on recipes and gifts to keep your man full and happy.
Something Important to Know About Men
Knowing a little something about men in general will help you to zero in on fulfilling some of your partners core needs in the relationship and make him really happy. One of the things all women should know about men is that they love to be the hero. They want to be the knight in shinning armour for some girl and finding a girl who allows them to succeed in doing this creates a very powerful feeling of attraction. More than anything, most men want to succeed in finding a girl they can protect, be the hero for and be admired by.
One of the best things you can do for your man is to allow him to be the hero for you. By showing him that he is succeeding in this important endeavour you will be making him feel more complete as a man and this translates to him feeling great whenever he is around you or even thinks about you. Most men are energized by this, they become more caring and more willing to please you. The more feedback they receive from a girl that they are succeeding in pleasing her the more they are encouraged to continue doing it. It's all about the response you give and how good you are at communicating to them that they have the power to make you happy.
For women there are also these same kinds of factors which will motivate them into giving the best love they are capable of. A little soul searching will soon tell you what you most desire from your partner in the relationship and it's then your responsibility to be able to communicate this to your partner in order to give them the chance to do it for you. The idea is to create a circle in the relationship which self perpetuates, each of you doing what the other most needs.
One of the best things you can do for your man is to allow him to be the hero for you. By showing him that he is succeeding in this important endeavour you will be making him feel more complete as a man and this translates to him feeling great whenever he is around you or even thinks about you. Most men are energized by this, they become more caring and more willing to please you. The more feedback they receive from a girl that they are succeeding in pleasing her the more they are encouraged to continue doing it. It's all about the response you give and how good you are at communicating to them that they have the power to make you happy.
For women there are also these same kinds of factors which will motivate them into giving the best love they are capable of. A little soul searching will soon tell you what you most desire from your partner in the relationship and it's then your responsibility to be able to communicate this to your partner in order to give them the chance to do it for you. The idea is to create a circle in the relationship which self perpetuates, each of you doing what the other most needs.
The Heart of a Successful Relationship
I like to think of successful relationship as being built thought by thought, heart beat by heart beat.
Back in the early days of my personal addictions experience, and I do mean early, when the outcome was far from assured, for even a day at a time, I heard some wise person say that thinking about what you had to be grateful for was a good habit to cultivate, and so I did.
I got it that when I felt resentful or afraid that I should switch my thought to something I was grateful for, and very quickly I felt better, much better.
The problem was that 'feel good' feeling did not last long.
For awhile I thought I was destined to only very brief moments of the feel good chemistry in my body, until I got it that my feelings are linked to my thoughts and that if I regularly repeat gratitude thoughts I have longer and longer periods of feeling good. (This was long before I had ever heard of REBT or CBT, which perhaps was just an inkling in Aaron Beck's mind).
I believe that successful relationship is built the same way. Successful relationship is a function of short bursts of thinking and feeling and regular practice of those thoughts which leave you feeling good about your relationship(s). (Gratitude is the Attitude).
How short a burst are you talking about?
Heart beat by heart beat.
(You can get more precise and use EEG biofeedback, which works in cycles per second).
After all, if your heart stops, do you need to worry about relationship.
Can we break our awareness of our thoughts down to heart beat by heart beat?
Yes we can, using a wonderful biofeedback tool called heart rate variability biofeedback.
But before we talk about heart rate variability biofeedback, I want to mention that many relationship experts talk about relationship as a function of doing exercises which build intimacy.
In particular, Robert Epstein,Ph.D., has written recently about how couples in arranged marriages in India succeed in staying together for a life time and growing in happiness even though they may have met once prior to their wedding.
John Gottman,Ph.D., has studied couples for 30 years and put together a workshop that couples can do together to learn the skills that the couples that Gottman calls the Masters of Marriage do naturally.
And Helen Fisher,Ph.D., has done wonders describing the process of romantic love, how it works, and why it works.
But none of them talk about how fast this wonderful brain of ours works to change the chemistry in my body.
Paul Ekman,Ph.D., another wonderful researcher, has been studying facial expressions for 30 years, and has discovered that some of what we humans do with our expressions is cross cultural. For example, all of us humans respond to a look of contempt in about 1/25th second. That is about 2 and 1/2 times faster than I can blink my eyes, and I am going to argue that for successful relationship to happen, I need to manage my thinking as quickly or as close to that quickly in order to give myself a choice.
Most often, I am going to feel the deepest hurt when my mate looks at me contemptuously, and if I am not careful, I will respond with anger, which covers the primary emotion of hurt, faster than I can create a question asking about her feelings right now.
In that 1/25th second, my physiology has created a response which impacts the success of my relationship.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a tool to use to get back to my heart's affiliative and cooperative intelligence in a heart beat?
After all, just because my mate is contemptuous of some choice of mine doesn't mean I need to respond without thinking, does it?
Successful Relationship Heart Beat by Heart Beat
About ten years ago, I ran across mention of the heart rate variability biofeedback tool in an EEG biofeedback list serve, and decided to try it out.
Heart rate variability biofeedback, is a tool that grew out of the discoveries in a new field of scientific inquiry called neurocardiology, which is the study of the heart's own nervous system.
Your heart has a lot of neurons in it, as does your gut, enough neurons that the heart can learn and make decisions on its own.
The heart regulates its own beat and sends a great deal of data up about emotions, and that heart intelligence, when I activate it, is cooperative and affiliative.
In other words, I can establish a cooperative and affiliative (like gratitude) physiology heart beat by heart beat.
This physiology is not contingent on anything other than my thoughts and feelings, and it feels good, and I can cue it regularly, and keep it for long periods of time.
Sounds like the perfect physiology for successful relationship doesn't it?
Of course, my anger management clients and domestic violence clients will argue that both people need to learn it, and I say that is very doable.
Imagine this. Each partner learns individually how to do heart rate variability biofeedback, then I bring them together, hook them up to tandem computers, ask them to get coherent, and then hold hands.
What emerges is a heart beat of the relationship, and both partners get it that they impact this heart beat, a living, breathing heart beat, by each thought they have.
They can keep the relationship heart beat coherent by attending to it in brief, regular bursts of attention, perhaps every five minutes for two heart beats.
I can do that without missing a keystroke on my computer.
By the way, this kind of work does not mean that there won't be issues to address and settlements to negotiate around sex, vacations, savings, parenting, ect.
What it does mean is that both members of the relationship can argue their values and ideas from a physiology of cooperation and affiliation.
Each successful relationship has a heart beat that the folks in it work to keep coherent, and now there is a coach for us to use.
Back in the early days of my personal addictions experience, and I do mean early, when the outcome was far from assured, for even a day at a time, I heard some wise person say that thinking about what you had to be grateful for was a good habit to cultivate, and so I did.
I got it that when I felt resentful or afraid that I should switch my thought to something I was grateful for, and very quickly I felt better, much better.
The problem was that 'feel good' feeling did not last long.
For awhile I thought I was destined to only very brief moments of the feel good chemistry in my body, until I got it that my feelings are linked to my thoughts and that if I regularly repeat gratitude thoughts I have longer and longer periods of feeling good. (This was long before I had ever heard of REBT or CBT, which perhaps was just an inkling in Aaron Beck's mind).
I believe that successful relationship is built the same way. Successful relationship is a function of short bursts of thinking and feeling and regular practice of those thoughts which leave you feeling good about your relationship(s). (Gratitude is the Attitude).
How short a burst are you talking about?
Heart beat by heart beat.
(You can get more precise and use EEG biofeedback, which works in cycles per second).
After all, if your heart stops, do you need to worry about relationship.
Can we break our awareness of our thoughts down to heart beat by heart beat?
Yes we can, using a wonderful biofeedback tool called heart rate variability biofeedback.
But before we talk about heart rate variability biofeedback, I want to mention that many relationship experts talk about relationship as a function of doing exercises which build intimacy.
In particular, Robert Epstein,Ph.D., has written recently about how couples in arranged marriages in India succeed in staying together for a life time and growing in happiness even though they may have met once prior to their wedding.
John Gottman,Ph.D., has studied couples for 30 years and put together a workshop that couples can do together to learn the skills that the couples that Gottman calls the Masters of Marriage do naturally.
And Helen Fisher,Ph.D., has done wonders describing the process of romantic love, how it works, and why it works.
But none of them talk about how fast this wonderful brain of ours works to change the chemistry in my body.
Paul Ekman,Ph.D., another wonderful researcher, has been studying facial expressions for 30 years, and has discovered that some of what we humans do with our expressions is cross cultural. For example, all of us humans respond to a look of contempt in about 1/25th second. That is about 2 and 1/2 times faster than I can blink my eyes, and I am going to argue that for successful relationship to happen, I need to manage my thinking as quickly or as close to that quickly in order to give myself a choice.
Most often, I am going to feel the deepest hurt when my mate looks at me contemptuously, and if I am not careful, I will respond with anger, which covers the primary emotion of hurt, faster than I can create a question asking about her feelings right now.
In that 1/25th second, my physiology has created a response which impacts the success of my relationship.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a tool to use to get back to my heart's affiliative and cooperative intelligence in a heart beat?
After all, just because my mate is contemptuous of some choice of mine doesn't mean I need to respond without thinking, does it?
Successful Relationship Heart Beat by Heart Beat
About ten years ago, I ran across mention of the heart rate variability biofeedback tool in an EEG biofeedback list serve, and decided to try it out.
Heart rate variability biofeedback, is a tool that grew out of the discoveries in a new field of scientific inquiry called neurocardiology, which is the study of the heart's own nervous system.
Your heart has a lot of neurons in it, as does your gut, enough neurons that the heart can learn and make decisions on its own.
The heart regulates its own beat and sends a great deal of data up about emotions, and that heart intelligence, when I activate it, is cooperative and affiliative.
In other words, I can establish a cooperative and affiliative (like gratitude) physiology heart beat by heart beat.
This physiology is not contingent on anything other than my thoughts and feelings, and it feels good, and I can cue it regularly, and keep it for long periods of time.
Sounds like the perfect physiology for successful relationship doesn't it?
Of course, my anger management clients and domestic violence clients will argue that both people need to learn it, and I say that is very doable.
Imagine this. Each partner learns individually how to do heart rate variability biofeedback, then I bring them together, hook them up to tandem computers, ask them to get coherent, and then hold hands.
What emerges is a heart beat of the relationship, and both partners get it that they impact this heart beat, a living, breathing heart beat, by each thought they have.
They can keep the relationship heart beat coherent by attending to it in brief, regular bursts of attention, perhaps every five minutes for two heart beats.
I can do that without missing a keystroke on my computer.
By the way, this kind of work does not mean that there won't be issues to address and settlements to negotiate around sex, vacations, savings, parenting, ect.
What it does mean is that both members of the relationship can argue their values and ideas from a physiology of cooperation and affiliation.
Each successful relationship has a heart beat that the folks in it work to keep coherent, and now there is a coach for us to use.
Some Relationship Tips You Should Avert For Women
In running a relationship, women also take important role in making it to be better for both of you. When doing the right thing, there are some things you need to avoid for pretending a bad thing happens in your relationship.
You do not need to change his appearance and attitude based on your preferences because it could lose his feeling toward to you. Also, changing it based on you could be meant that you do not really love him because you just love your imagination.
You may not sex as a prize for the right thing he has already done for you. If you want to give a gift, it is better for you to purchase stuff not sex. If you do this, he could consider that sex is the most important thing for your relationship.
When you want to give advices for him, you must do it politely. You do not need to criticize until make him feel down because you must be able to give support as a good partner.
You must avoid your attitude that scold his act and consider him as a child. It will make him feel uncomfortable so he could break you up. Men will love you more if you are able to make a comfortable feeling for him.
You are not allowed to underestimate him with angrily. Although you have a better job than him, but you should not underestimate what he does in his life. This condition could make him that he is not a good man for you. You just need to appreciate of what he has and he does.
You do not need to change his appearance and attitude based on your preferences because it could lose his feeling toward to you. Also, changing it based on you could be meant that you do not really love him because you just love your imagination.
You may not sex as a prize for the right thing he has already done for you. If you want to give a gift, it is better for you to purchase stuff not sex. If you do this, he could consider that sex is the most important thing for your relationship.
When you want to give advices for him, you must do it politely. You do not need to criticize until make him feel down because you must be able to give support as a good partner.
You must avoid your attitude that scold his act and consider him as a child. It will make him feel uncomfortable so he could break you up. Men will love you more if you are able to make a comfortable feeling for him.
You are not allowed to underestimate him with angrily. Although you have a better job than him, but you should not underestimate what he does in his life. This condition could make him that he is not a good man for you. You just need to appreciate of what he has and he does.
Some Great Relationship Tips For Women
Women are unique personalities which are created by God. As women who run a relationship, you also need to be responsible because it could show who you are. Here, you can check the relationship tips out for your needs. Learn and take benefits from it.
Time is essential thing for women. If you want to have more time with your man and you can provide it, you need to use it as good as possible. In fact, quality time is the most important aspect that quantity time because it takes an important role and it could give a good influence for both of you.
Like men did, you need to be able in giving trust, love and respect for your partner. It could provide a comfort feeling because you are sure that he can keep your trust. In fact, men do not like if you feel suspicious toward him so you should avoid it.
You must appreciate what he has already done for you although it is a small thing. This appreciation will make your partner feel happy because you are able to give attention and love.
If you have some agreements with him in running the relationship, you must be able to keep it. If you can respect them, he will be able to be loyal with you and he will also respect to you.
You need to support his direction and goals in his life. Although you can not help him, your support could mean much for him. If you have a great support for him, he will be able to do the right thing for his life and for the relationship.
Time is essential thing for women. If you want to have more time with your man and you can provide it, you need to use it as good as possible. In fact, quality time is the most important aspect that quantity time because it takes an important role and it could give a good influence for both of you.
Like men did, you need to be able in giving trust, love and respect for your partner. It could provide a comfort feeling because you are sure that he can keep your trust. In fact, men do not like if you feel suspicious toward him so you should avoid it.
You must appreciate what he has already done for you although it is a small thing. This appreciation will make your partner feel happy because you are able to give attention and love.
If you have some agreements with him in running the relationship, you must be able to keep it. If you can respect them, he will be able to be loyal with you and he will also respect to you.
You need to support his direction and goals in his life. Although you can not help him, your support could mean much for him. If you have a great support for him, he will be able to do the right thing for his life and for the relationship.
The Top 10 Relationship Myths of All Time
MYTH # 1: RELATIONSHIPS ARE EASY
Relationships are not easy! I am always amazed how people spend so much time, money and energy studying, training and applying themselves in their professions to become the best they can be. Yet, when it come to relationships, many people think they will just happen and take care of themselves without much investment of time or effort.
Relationships do take work, commitment, time and energy! To create a truly rewarding relationship, you may need to make sacrifices in other areas. You may need to work less, earn less money or invest more energy into spending time with your partner. Your relationship is like a garden. You need to attend to it, spend time in it and water it frequently. The result will be you will see it bloom and it will provide you with ongoing joy and happiness.
MYTH # 2: GREAT RELATIONSHIPS DON'T HAVE CONFLICT
This is a very common myth. If you have been in the early stages of romantic love with your partner, it can come as quite a shock the first time you experience some conflict. Some couples think that it is a sign that the relationship is doomed and will not survive.
Conflict is a normal and healthy part of all relationships. Think of conflict as growth trying to happen. It is an opportunity to look at your differences and understand a perspective other than your own. It is also a time when you can look at your own values and beliefs and understand your partner's values and beliefs. When conflict is used as an opportunity for you to grow as a couple, it can actually facilitate a greater emotional intimacy between you.
MYTH # 3: ROMANTIC LOVE LASTS FOREVER
This is one of the most common relationship myths. Hollywood movies have a lot to answer to for sustaining this myth for so long.
In most relationships, it is a normal part of couple development that when you fall in love you often experience a symbiosis. This means that you and your lover will feel like 'one'. The brain releases chemicals that facilitate this process and help in the bonding between two people. However, it is a stage of couple development and not one that can be sustained indefinitely.
Romantic love and the 'honeymoon stage' does not and cannot last forever. Thinking in this way can actually cause you distress and place your relationship under enormous stress.
MYTH # 4: MY PARTNER SHOULD THINK THE SAME AS ME
Again, this relationship myth seems to relate to the magical thinking of the symbiotic or bonding stage of couple development. Sometimes the thinking is 'if my partner and I are one, then we must think, feel, want and need the same things.'
When you consider that a couple in this stage are feeling euphoric feelings towards each other, it makes sense that they might think this. However, this is a dangerous myth to believe. It is important to accept that your partner is a separate individual to you with different likes, dislikes, wants, needs and interests.
MYTH # 5: IT'S GOOD TO VENT ALL MY FEELINGS IN MY RELATIONSHIP
This myth is a dangerous one because you may think it is ok to vent all your feelings and thoughts, positive and negative, on to your partner. Taking such an approach to your relationship is potentially destructive and will impair the longevity of your connection.
It is important to consider what you share and how you share with your partner. Think about how you treat your best friend. That will give you some indication of the attitude you will want to bring to your relationship. When you aspire to be your best and treat your partner in a similar way, the dividends will be high and long-lasting.
MYTH # 6: MY CHILDHOOD WON'T AFFECT MY RELATIONSHIP
Some people believe that whatever kind of childhood they had, it has no bearing on the relationships they form in adulthood.
Nothing could be further from the truth. It is impossible to not bring the influences of your childhood into your relationship. It is in childhood that we develop a 'blueprint' for relating. We learn and internalise what we perceive love is and how it is expressed. This then plays out in our adult relationships.
If you find you keep repeating the same relationship mistakes over and over again, you may benefit from working with a trained counsellor to understand what your blueprint is and how it gets in the way of you forming a loving a respectful relationship.
MYTH # 7: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP MEANS WE HAVE NO UNRESOLVED ISSUES
Interestingly, research says that over 80% of all issues that couples have never get resolved. When you consider this statistic, it puts into perspective all the time and energy you may have put into trying to resolve issues that never shift. You may also recognise that you have expended a lot of energy trying to change your partner!
Often, I think the question is not how you deal with difference, but what are your differences in dealing. When you look at how you go about working with differences in your relationship, then new possibilities for change and relating can emerge.
MYTH # 8: SEX HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A GOOD RELATIONSHIP
Sex has everything to do with a good relationship!
I think of sex as the melting pot of all the relationship issues. If you are distancing from each other, living parallel lives and working or raising kids with no time to invest in the relationship, it makes sense that the last thing you would want is to connect sexually.
If you struggle to be open and vulnerable with your partner and express your needs and longings, then it is very unlikely that you will be open and vulnerable in sex.
Have a look at what is happening between you in the way you connect and relate and then see how that connects to your sexual life. It may be an illuminating experience.
MYTH # 9: THE RELATIONSHIP WON'T IMPROVE UNTIL MY PARTNER DOES
Most couples come into couples therapy thinking that it is their partner that is the problem and that the partner needs to change. This attitude will keep you stuck and unable to improve or deepen your relationship in any way.
Rather than focusing on your partner, think about how can you change. What do you aspire to be at the worst of times, or when you are not feeling your best? How do you want to be in the face of your partner not being his or her best? A principle of systems theory is that when one element in a system changes, the whole system is affected. This means when you change yourself, the relationship changes.
MYTH # 10: MY PARTNER SHOULD LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY AT ALL TIMES
Again, I think this myth is related to the symbiotic nature of romantic love. Just like a baby who bonds with it's mother and feels as one, we sometimes think that one person should be everything for us and meet all our needs. In the distant past, we had a whole village of people to connect with and meet our needs. Often today we expect one person to meet all our needs and love us and accept us unconditionally.
When you are aware of this belief, ask yourself, what do I need to give myself? How can I love myself more in this moment? What other relationships in my life can I go to and have this need met?
WHAT MYTHS ARE YOU AWARE OF?
I hope you have found the top 10 relationship myths helpful in clarifying some of the negative beliefs that we are taught or internalize as we develop in our lives. These are the most common myths that I encounter in my clinical practice and are by no means the only ones.
Clinton Power is a relationship counsellor and Gestalt psychotherapist who specializes in working with singles and couples who are experiencing relationship pain. He also facilitates couple workshops in Sydney where couples can learn how to create a great relationship through the Centre for Relationship Development. He runs a busy private practice in Sydney, Australia from two locations in Newtown and the Sydney CBD. For more information, please visit his website at http://www.clintonpower.com.au
Relationships are not easy! I am always amazed how people spend so much time, money and energy studying, training and applying themselves in their professions to become the best they can be. Yet, when it come to relationships, many people think they will just happen and take care of themselves without much investment of time or effort.
Relationships do take work, commitment, time and energy! To create a truly rewarding relationship, you may need to make sacrifices in other areas. You may need to work less, earn less money or invest more energy into spending time with your partner. Your relationship is like a garden. You need to attend to it, spend time in it and water it frequently. The result will be you will see it bloom and it will provide you with ongoing joy and happiness.
MYTH # 2: GREAT RELATIONSHIPS DON'T HAVE CONFLICT
This is a very common myth. If you have been in the early stages of romantic love with your partner, it can come as quite a shock the first time you experience some conflict. Some couples think that it is a sign that the relationship is doomed and will not survive.
Conflict is a normal and healthy part of all relationships. Think of conflict as growth trying to happen. It is an opportunity to look at your differences and understand a perspective other than your own. It is also a time when you can look at your own values and beliefs and understand your partner's values and beliefs. When conflict is used as an opportunity for you to grow as a couple, it can actually facilitate a greater emotional intimacy between you.
MYTH # 3: ROMANTIC LOVE LASTS FOREVER
This is one of the most common relationship myths. Hollywood movies have a lot to answer to for sustaining this myth for so long.
In most relationships, it is a normal part of couple development that when you fall in love you often experience a symbiosis. This means that you and your lover will feel like 'one'. The brain releases chemicals that facilitate this process and help in the bonding between two people. However, it is a stage of couple development and not one that can be sustained indefinitely.
Romantic love and the 'honeymoon stage' does not and cannot last forever. Thinking in this way can actually cause you distress and place your relationship under enormous stress.
MYTH # 4: MY PARTNER SHOULD THINK THE SAME AS ME
Again, this relationship myth seems to relate to the magical thinking of the symbiotic or bonding stage of couple development. Sometimes the thinking is 'if my partner and I are one, then we must think, feel, want and need the same things.'
When you consider that a couple in this stage are feeling euphoric feelings towards each other, it makes sense that they might think this. However, this is a dangerous myth to believe. It is important to accept that your partner is a separate individual to you with different likes, dislikes, wants, needs and interests.
MYTH # 5: IT'S GOOD TO VENT ALL MY FEELINGS IN MY RELATIONSHIP
This myth is a dangerous one because you may think it is ok to vent all your feelings and thoughts, positive and negative, on to your partner. Taking such an approach to your relationship is potentially destructive and will impair the longevity of your connection.
It is important to consider what you share and how you share with your partner. Think about how you treat your best friend. That will give you some indication of the attitude you will want to bring to your relationship. When you aspire to be your best and treat your partner in a similar way, the dividends will be high and long-lasting.
MYTH # 6: MY CHILDHOOD WON'T AFFECT MY RELATIONSHIP
Some people believe that whatever kind of childhood they had, it has no bearing on the relationships they form in adulthood.
Nothing could be further from the truth. It is impossible to not bring the influences of your childhood into your relationship. It is in childhood that we develop a 'blueprint' for relating. We learn and internalise what we perceive love is and how it is expressed. This then plays out in our adult relationships.
If you find you keep repeating the same relationship mistakes over and over again, you may benefit from working with a trained counsellor to understand what your blueprint is and how it gets in the way of you forming a loving a respectful relationship.
MYTH # 7: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP MEANS WE HAVE NO UNRESOLVED ISSUES
Interestingly, research says that over 80% of all issues that couples have never get resolved. When you consider this statistic, it puts into perspective all the time and energy you may have put into trying to resolve issues that never shift. You may also recognise that you have expended a lot of energy trying to change your partner!
Often, I think the question is not how you deal with difference, but what are your differences in dealing. When you look at how you go about working with differences in your relationship, then new possibilities for change and relating can emerge.
MYTH # 8: SEX HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A GOOD RELATIONSHIP
Sex has everything to do with a good relationship!
I think of sex as the melting pot of all the relationship issues. If you are distancing from each other, living parallel lives and working or raising kids with no time to invest in the relationship, it makes sense that the last thing you would want is to connect sexually.
If you struggle to be open and vulnerable with your partner and express your needs and longings, then it is very unlikely that you will be open and vulnerable in sex.
Have a look at what is happening between you in the way you connect and relate and then see how that connects to your sexual life. It may be an illuminating experience.
MYTH # 9: THE RELATIONSHIP WON'T IMPROVE UNTIL MY PARTNER DOES
Most couples come into couples therapy thinking that it is their partner that is the problem and that the partner needs to change. This attitude will keep you stuck and unable to improve or deepen your relationship in any way.
Rather than focusing on your partner, think about how can you change. What do you aspire to be at the worst of times, or when you are not feeling your best? How do you want to be in the face of your partner not being his or her best? A principle of systems theory is that when one element in a system changes, the whole system is affected. This means when you change yourself, the relationship changes.
MYTH # 10: MY PARTNER SHOULD LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY AT ALL TIMES
Again, I think this myth is related to the symbiotic nature of romantic love. Just like a baby who bonds with it's mother and feels as one, we sometimes think that one person should be everything for us and meet all our needs. In the distant past, we had a whole village of people to connect with and meet our needs. Often today we expect one person to meet all our needs and love us and accept us unconditionally.
When you are aware of this belief, ask yourself, what do I need to give myself? How can I love myself more in this moment? What other relationships in my life can I go to and have this need met?
WHAT MYTHS ARE YOU AWARE OF?
I hope you have found the top 10 relationship myths helpful in clarifying some of the negative beliefs that we are taught or internalize as we develop in our lives. These are the most common myths that I encounter in my clinical practice and are by no means the only ones.
Clinton Power is a relationship counsellor and Gestalt psychotherapist who specializes in working with singles and couples who are experiencing relationship pain. He also facilitates couple workshops in Sydney where couples can learn how to create a great relationship through the Centre for Relationship Development. He runs a busy private practice in Sydney, Australia from two locations in Newtown and the Sydney CBD. For more information, please visit his website at http://www.clintonpower.com.au
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