Is there really any secret to a happy marriage? You bet. We came up with 5. You probably heard the old saying "sometimes love just ain't enough." Well it's true. Eventually all of those warm fuzzies wear off and all you're left with are the "nuts" and "bolts" of the relationship. The following "secrets" are certainly not exhaustive, but they are a good start towards a common sense approach to making your relationship more fulfilling and ultimately having a happy marriage.
1. You might need some marriage advice if your partner frequently has to tell you "it's not always about you." That may be a pretty good indication that they feel you are selfish and self centered. It may be time to ask yourself if you are willing to make sacrifices necessary to make your relationship work. Do you remember to kid who always had to have it their way whenever you played toys together? The girl always had to be the popular one, or the "princess", while you were one of the "servants." The guy always had to be the king, or get to play with the best toy, while you were stuck with being the "court jester", and had to play with the broken toy. And, if you didn't agree to do it their way they would get upset and not want to play with you. Didn't you get tired of playing with that person before too long? Well, relationships are a lot like that too.
Relationships don't last too long when one person always have to have it their way. Resentment tends to creep in and choke the life out of the relationship. There must be a give and take, or back and forth to your relationship. You have to find a way for both of you to "win." You must both being willing to be the one who makes the sacrifice for the sake of the other person in order to help create an environment for a happy marriage.
2. The next "secret" to a happy marriage is related to the first one - you must have the ability to compromise. Compromise takes sacrifice to the next level. You both agree to disagree and choose the next best thing to what you would have originally preferred. It goes something like: "I know you don't like sports (even though I'd really like to see the game), and we both don't want to stay at home tonight" (she wanted to go to a play, which you hate)..."so, how about we go see the concert at the Philharmonic tonight?" See, you both didn't get your first choice, but you did find a common ground that you did agree on together. Maybe next time you go to the play, and the time after that you both go to the game. I love it when a plan comes together.
3. Another key to having a happy marriage is that on occasion you do something for yourself. While it is important that you do things together as a couple, it is also important that you develop areas of interest on your own. This helps you to keep your relationship interesting and can stop the boredom from setting in. It also can help you appreciate each other more when you have periods of being apart. It makes seeing each other again even more special.
4. Another "secret" to a happy marriage involves maintaining intimacy and affection in your relationship. About 5 years ago I worked with the Healthy Families Program for new mothers and at risk children for abuse and neglect. During my training for helping new mothers bond with their newborn children I learned of some studies about the importance of touch. Specifically, how crucial it was for newborns to have the touch of both the mother and father for the healthy development of the child. Well, the same is true of a romantic relationship. The couple that hugs together, holds hands together, and kisses together...usually stays together. It is critical in order to maintain your bond as a couple.
5. The last "secret" to a happy marriage that I will address today is about finances - just the sound of that word gives me a headache. Many people feel that way. But, you can't bury your head in the sand and hope that all turns out well. You need to plan together and communicate on a regular basis regarding your finances as a couple. If you don't it is sure to bring your relationship much stress and anxiety. Even when the news is bad, you better talk about it. Trying to avoid bad financial bad news has a way of coming back to haunt you...so you better deal with it straight away.
Many couples don't talk about their money and just assume the other person will take care of it - THEY WON'T. Talk clearly and often about this. If you don't talk about you finances it will probably get worse. Debt has a way of mounting with compound interest, fees, and could even lead to small claims court. There you don't just have to pay your debt. You get to pay court costs and attorney fees too. Oh joy! So take it from me on this one. That is not a place were you want to be.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
What to Do When You No Longer Feel Connected to Your Husband
I recently received correspondence from a wife who told me that she was afraid that she losing feelings of love for her husband. She specifically said that she no longer felt "connected" or "intimate" with him and she suspected that he felt the same way. They weren't being ugly to one another or fighting or anything like that. But, they were just sort of coexisting without the feeling of togetherness that they used to enjoy.
The wife missed their connection. But honestly, when she looked at him today, she wasn't sure if she was ever going to be able to get the relationship back. She admitted that she just simply felt "sort of blank" when she looked at him or interacted with him now. The spark was gone. She loved him because he was a great person and father, but she had to wonder if she was "in love with him" anymore.
She wanted to know if I thought it was possible to restore the connectedness between them. And she wanted to know how should she go about making this happen. She felt that she owed it to her family to try to fix this, but she just didn't know where to start. I'll tell you some of the insights and suggestions I gave her in the following article.
You Have To Be Proactive To Reestablish The Connection. You Can't Just Wait And Hope For The Best: When I asked the wife what she had been trying and which of her efforts had been the most successful, there was a definite pause. She had to admit that she was really taking a sort of "wait and see" approach. Things felt awkward and she was reluctant to be the one to step outside of her comfort zone only to have her husband look at her as if she were crazy, or worse, to experience his rejection.
I understand this as my reaction was quite similar. No one wants to be the one to rock the boat. But, the problem with this approach is that if no one is going to make the first move, then you both might be sitting there for quite a while being disappointed and making assumptions that just aren't true. To ensure that you get what you want and restore the happiness that you deserve, you're likely going to have to take the initiative. Yes, this may feel vulnerable. And there might be times when you want to retreat. But honestly, retreating is what likely got you here in the first place.
Using Your Knowledge Of Your Husband And Your Relationship To Move Forward And Reconnect Rather Than Continuing On As You Are: As I said, sometimes, you have to be the one to put yourself out there. I realize that many people don't know where or how to start. However, you really do have more of a road map than you might think. You know how this relationship looked and what characteristics it had when it was most successful.
Often, when I tell people this, they will attempt to turn this around in a negative way. They'll say things like "well, when we were in love, we were both young and carefree without the responsibilities of real life. You can't possibly compare our reality then with our reality now." These points are 100 percent valid. But, they are leaving something out. When things were good, both people were putting in a whole lot of time and effort. Both people were receiving a very positive payoff which ultimately made them feel better about themselves and about how their lives were going.
So, in this way, all of the positive things that are happening in their life become projected onto the relationship. Everything looks shiny and new because we're seeing it through rose colored glasses. We feel as through finally someone appreciates us, understands us, and brings out the best of us. Unfortunately though, we all know what eventually comes next as the months turn into years and the responsibilities and not so fun things about life begin to pile on.
We begin to have trouble spinning all of the plates in the air. Something has to give. We need to allocate our time a little differently. And, we reason, our spouse knows what we are going through. They know we love them. So we hope that they give us a pass as far as the allocation of time is concerned. But what we often don't realize is that this omission is going to hurt us as well. A relationship is often only as good as what you put into it. The intensity of the feelings are going to directly relate to the quality of the efforts put in.
The good news though is that you start to restore the allocation of time and the quality of the efforts, the feelings will usually follow. You simply can't feel connected to someone if you don't feel like you're on the same page or that the same things are important to you. And these things can't happen in a vacuum. They have to be cultivated and encouraged just like everything else.
But, look at it this way. You already know that the both of you are more than capable of being happy together and feeling connected because you have been successful at this in the past. So, now is the time to begin to change the efforts so that the feelings will also change. It's easy to retreat inward as a means of self protection. But isolation is a sure fire way to feel disconnected.
Giving What You Want To Get: To begin, try to define, as precisely as you can, why you are feeling disconnected. Usually, almost every one has to admit that there is no longer a feeling of "we" or "us." Many people feel taken for granted and unappreciated. The way around this is usually to begin to provide for your spouse what you yourself want. If you feel that he doesn't notice what's important to you, begin to focus what's important to him.
If you think he's not affectionate or unappreciative, heap the attention and praise onto him. I know that this sounds backward but it really isn't. By giving what we want, we're accomplishing many things. We're showing our spouse that it's "safe" to turn our attention towards the relationship, we're changing up the stagnant culture, and we're demonstrating what we want.
Often, when you begin to give your spouse the pay off that they want, they will often respond by giving you more of what you want. That cycle of good feelings and projecting on the relationship will continue on. But this time, you're giving them positive things to project rather than negative ones.
The wife missed their connection. But honestly, when she looked at him today, she wasn't sure if she was ever going to be able to get the relationship back. She admitted that she just simply felt "sort of blank" when she looked at him or interacted with him now. The spark was gone. She loved him because he was a great person and father, but she had to wonder if she was "in love with him" anymore.
She wanted to know if I thought it was possible to restore the connectedness between them. And she wanted to know how should she go about making this happen. She felt that she owed it to her family to try to fix this, but she just didn't know where to start. I'll tell you some of the insights and suggestions I gave her in the following article.
You Have To Be Proactive To Reestablish The Connection. You Can't Just Wait And Hope For The Best: When I asked the wife what she had been trying and which of her efforts had been the most successful, there was a definite pause. She had to admit that she was really taking a sort of "wait and see" approach. Things felt awkward and she was reluctant to be the one to step outside of her comfort zone only to have her husband look at her as if she were crazy, or worse, to experience his rejection.
I understand this as my reaction was quite similar. No one wants to be the one to rock the boat. But, the problem with this approach is that if no one is going to make the first move, then you both might be sitting there for quite a while being disappointed and making assumptions that just aren't true. To ensure that you get what you want and restore the happiness that you deserve, you're likely going to have to take the initiative. Yes, this may feel vulnerable. And there might be times when you want to retreat. But honestly, retreating is what likely got you here in the first place.
Using Your Knowledge Of Your Husband And Your Relationship To Move Forward And Reconnect Rather Than Continuing On As You Are: As I said, sometimes, you have to be the one to put yourself out there. I realize that many people don't know where or how to start. However, you really do have more of a road map than you might think. You know how this relationship looked and what characteristics it had when it was most successful.
Often, when I tell people this, they will attempt to turn this around in a negative way. They'll say things like "well, when we were in love, we were both young and carefree without the responsibilities of real life. You can't possibly compare our reality then with our reality now." These points are 100 percent valid. But, they are leaving something out. When things were good, both people were putting in a whole lot of time and effort. Both people were receiving a very positive payoff which ultimately made them feel better about themselves and about how their lives were going.
So, in this way, all of the positive things that are happening in their life become projected onto the relationship. Everything looks shiny and new because we're seeing it through rose colored glasses. We feel as through finally someone appreciates us, understands us, and brings out the best of us. Unfortunately though, we all know what eventually comes next as the months turn into years and the responsibilities and not so fun things about life begin to pile on.
We begin to have trouble spinning all of the plates in the air. Something has to give. We need to allocate our time a little differently. And, we reason, our spouse knows what we are going through. They know we love them. So we hope that they give us a pass as far as the allocation of time is concerned. But what we often don't realize is that this omission is going to hurt us as well. A relationship is often only as good as what you put into it. The intensity of the feelings are going to directly relate to the quality of the efforts put in.
The good news though is that you start to restore the allocation of time and the quality of the efforts, the feelings will usually follow. You simply can't feel connected to someone if you don't feel like you're on the same page or that the same things are important to you. And these things can't happen in a vacuum. They have to be cultivated and encouraged just like everything else.
But, look at it this way. You already know that the both of you are more than capable of being happy together and feeling connected because you have been successful at this in the past. So, now is the time to begin to change the efforts so that the feelings will also change. It's easy to retreat inward as a means of self protection. But isolation is a sure fire way to feel disconnected.
Giving What You Want To Get: To begin, try to define, as precisely as you can, why you are feeling disconnected. Usually, almost every one has to admit that there is no longer a feeling of "we" or "us." Many people feel taken for granted and unappreciated. The way around this is usually to begin to provide for your spouse what you yourself want. If you feel that he doesn't notice what's important to you, begin to focus what's important to him.
If you think he's not affectionate or unappreciative, heap the attention and praise onto him. I know that this sounds backward but it really isn't. By giving what we want, we're accomplishing many things. We're showing our spouse that it's "safe" to turn our attention towards the relationship, we're changing up the stagnant culture, and we're demonstrating what we want.
Often, when you begin to give your spouse the pay off that they want, they will often respond by giving you more of what you want. That cycle of good feelings and projecting on the relationship will continue on. But this time, you're giving them positive things to project rather than negative ones.
What is a Prenuptial Agreement?
Although getting married is a romantic and exciting time in a couple's life, there are important decisions that have to be made before the wedding ceremony. Although it can be a highly uncomfortable issue, each couple must think about what would happen if the marriage were to dissolve. Statistics show that about 50% of marriage end in divorce. It is important to protect yourself because we do not know what the future will bring. One way couples can protect themselves is by entering into a Prenuptial Agreement.
So, what is a prenuptial agreement? A Prenuptial Agreement, or Prenup, is a legal contract between two people planning to get married. This contract involves making an agreed upon document for the distribution of assets if the marriage dissolves resulting in divorce. Distribution of assets can include: property and financial assets such as stocks, bonds...etc. Forms of prenups have existed for thousands of years, especially where royal families needed to protect their valuables and wealth. Although it is a difficult topic to talk about, especially when you are excited about the marriage and future, it should be part of a couples financial planning.
Experts recommend couples get a prenup for the following situations: one partner has, or is planning to acquire a home, stock investments, or retirement funds, one partner owns all or part of a business, one partner will be receiving an inheritance, one partner has children from a previous marriage, one of the partners has substantially more wealth, one partner is paying for the other's tuition or investing in the other's business, there are relatives that one is responsible for caring for, one partner owns a copyright or trademark, one is expected to see a dramatic increase in income in the next few years, and if one partner has won a lottery.
Approaching the subject of a prenuptial agreement can be tricky; however, it is important to remember that marriage is an emotional and financial union. Experts recommend bringing up the subject as early as possible in the relationship, particularly before they become engaged. It is important to be open and honest and listen to the other person's concerns to avoid causing upset.
There are often times when a prenup may be contested during a divorce. This is often due to changing circumstances such as child support issues or one person may have violated the agreement such as hiding assets when the prenup was created. Many volatile divorces will include challenges of prenuptial agreements so it is important not to hide anything as it may come back to take a big bite out of your bank account.
Obviously prenuptial agreements are not romantic and can be awkward to talk about; however, because there is such a high rate of divorce, it is important to consider a prenup before you get engaged. Remember, in order to be considered a legal document, a prenup must be written, signed by both parties, and notarized. It just makes financial sense to get a prenup and then move forward and enjoy your marriage.
So, what is a prenuptial agreement? A Prenuptial Agreement, or Prenup, is a legal contract between two people planning to get married. This contract involves making an agreed upon document for the distribution of assets if the marriage dissolves resulting in divorce. Distribution of assets can include: property and financial assets such as stocks, bonds...etc. Forms of prenups have existed for thousands of years, especially where royal families needed to protect their valuables and wealth. Although it is a difficult topic to talk about, especially when you are excited about the marriage and future, it should be part of a couples financial planning.
Experts recommend couples get a prenup for the following situations: one partner has, or is planning to acquire a home, stock investments, or retirement funds, one partner owns all or part of a business, one partner will be receiving an inheritance, one partner has children from a previous marriage, one of the partners has substantially more wealth, one partner is paying for the other's tuition or investing in the other's business, there are relatives that one is responsible for caring for, one partner owns a copyright or trademark, one is expected to see a dramatic increase in income in the next few years, and if one partner has won a lottery.
Approaching the subject of a prenuptial agreement can be tricky; however, it is important to remember that marriage is an emotional and financial union. Experts recommend bringing up the subject as early as possible in the relationship, particularly before they become engaged. It is important to be open and honest and listen to the other person's concerns to avoid causing upset.
There are often times when a prenup may be contested during a divorce. This is often due to changing circumstances such as child support issues or one person may have violated the agreement such as hiding assets when the prenup was created. Many volatile divorces will include challenges of prenuptial agreements so it is important not to hide anything as it may come back to take a big bite out of your bank account.
Obviously prenuptial agreements are not romantic and can be awkward to talk about; however, because there is such a high rate of divorce, it is important to consider a prenup before you get engaged. Remember, in order to be considered a legal document, a prenup must be written, signed by both parties, and notarized. It just makes financial sense to get a prenup and then move forward and enjoy your marriage.
How You Can Avoid Falling Out of Love in Your Marriage
This culture we are now living in has ingrained the thought of upgrading into our lives. Our desktop computers, cars, cameras, laptops, cell phones, perhaps even our properties are continuously prospects for upgrades.
It feels like individuals have taken this idea of upgrading one step further and carried it out on non-material things, particularly their relationship as proven by growing divorce rates. (Yup! Step right up and trade in your current significant other for a new and improved one!) It truly is normal to question ways to avoid the urge to upgrade, when you live in this sort of world. What's promising is you possess the strength to hold your relationship together. Below are a few details to remember so its possible to refrain from falling out of love in marriage.
Upgrading is not an option
Upgrading can be as easy as looking for a more sophisticated one and getting the funds to purchase it, for items that don't have a contract (such as a digital camera or laptop). You have to hang on until the agreement is fulfilled prior to upgrading or pay a fee, for things having a contract (such as a mortgage). Consider your marriage vows as being a agreement. Remember that your contract fulfillment date is "Until death do us part."
When it comes to marriage, there isn't an opportunity to upgrade. The early upgrade fees can be very high, sentimentally as well as in financial terms, since divorce is just like reneging on your agreement. Keep in mind that your vows are a contract and there are repercussions for reneging on it, and this will help to prevent you from falling out of love in marriage.
Where is the grass really greener?
Newer will not mean better. That is the other point to consider as a way to avoid falling out of love. After a divorce, many people generally think that most of their challenges will be gone. Indeed, your relationship complications will be gone. Even so, a completely new list of difficulties comes with becoming divorced.
So ask yourself, is the grass truly greener on the other side? Probably not. It'll be more effective making sure that the grass is always greener on your side of the fence by working on fixing your marriage.
It's all based on expectations
There marriage is certainly no story book finale with regards to life after marriage. Starting off with unrealistic expectations will be the fastest strategy to falling out of love in marriage. Preferably, count on marriage to be full of ups and downs.
The main element to not falling out of love and making it through the bad times would be to understand that you and your partner are there to help the other through it. Because you shouldn't expect things to always be perfect, you can anticipate your husband or wife to stay by you when things aren't ideal.
It feels like individuals have taken this idea of upgrading one step further and carried it out on non-material things, particularly their relationship as proven by growing divorce rates. (Yup! Step right up and trade in your current significant other for a new and improved one!) It truly is normal to question ways to avoid the urge to upgrade, when you live in this sort of world. What's promising is you possess the strength to hold your relationship together. Below are a few details to remember so its possible to refrain from falling out of love in marriage.
Upgrading is not an option
Upgrading can be as easy as looking for a more sophisticated one and getting the funds to purchase it, for items that don't have a contract (such as a digital camera or laptop). You have to hang on until the agreement is fulfilled prior to upgrading or pay a fee, for things having a contract (such as a mortgage). Consider your marriage vows as being a agreement. Remember that your contract fulfillment date is "Until death do us part."
When it comes to marriage, there isn't an opportunity to upgrade. The early upgrade fees can be very high, sentimentally as well as in financial terms, since divorce is just like reneging on your agreement. Keep in mind that your vows are a contract and there are repercussions for reneging on it, and this will help to prevent you from falling out of love in marriage.
Where is the grass really greener?
Newer will not mean better. That is the other point to consider as a way to avoid falling out of love. After a divorce, many people generally think that most of their challenges will be gone. Indeed, your relationship complications will be gone. Even so, a completely new list of difficulties comes with becoming divorced.
So ask yourself, is the grass truly greener on the other side? Probably not. It'll be more effective making sure that the grass is always greener on your side of the fence by working on fixing your marriage.
It's all based on expectations
There marriage is certainly no story book finale with regards to life after marriage. Starting off with unrealistic expectations will be the fastest strategy to falling out of love in marriage. Preferably, count on marriage to be full of ups and downs.
The main element to not falling out of love and making it through the bad times would be to understand that you and your partner are there to help the other through it. Because you shouldn't expect things to always be perfect, you can anticipate your husband or wife to stay by you when things aren't ideal.
5 Things Couples Should Do to Stay Happy
Happy couples seem very common, but in fact it isn't true, most aren't that happy all of the time. A few people are lucky to meet their soul mate, but this isn't necessary to being happy in a relationship. Here are a few tips to make your partnership happier.
Talk to your partner, this doesn't mean waffling about your problems, it means asking your significant other about them, how was their day at work, is anything bothering them? It seems like such an easy thing to do but it works because we all like to feel someone is listening.
Enjoy the simple things life gives you, a walk in the park with your partner, barbeques or picnics as a family, picking a small bunch of flowers for her, giving him a moment to read his paper. Yes, these are cliches, but they really help couples stay happy with each other.
Be thankful for the good things your partner brings to your relationship, we all fall in love for a reason, and the reasons we love another person should outweigh the bad things. So what if she wants to cuddle when you're watching football, it doesn't matter if he cleans less often, be thankful your partner is there with you.
Make do with what you've got instead of frustrated about the things you don't have. Remember that most of us have a home, food, electricity, but a lot of people don't. Instead talk to your partner about your dreams, and see if together you can find a way to achieve your goals.
Live life with passion, this is really important, happy couples seem to take everything in their stride and put 100% of their energy into enjoying their time together. If you are really passionate about your lives this alone will remove most of the small problems couple face.
Talk to your partner, this doesn't mean waffling about your problems, it means asking your significant other about them, how was their day at work, is anything bothering them? It seems like such an easy thing to do but it works because we all like to feel someone is listening.
Enjoy the simple things life gives you, a walk in the park with your partner, barbeques or picnics as a family, picking a small bunch of flowers for her, giving him a moment to read his paper. Yes, these are cliches, but they really help couples stay happy with each other.
Be thankful for the good things your partner brings to your relationship, we all fall in love for a reason, and the reasons we love another person should outweigh the bad things. So what if she wants to cuddle when you're watching football, it doesn't matter if he cleans less often, be thankful your partner is there with you.
Make do with what you've got instead of frustrated about the things you don't have. Remember that most of us have a home, food, electricity, but a lot of people don't. Instead talk to your partner about your dreams, and see if together you can find a way to achieve your goals.
Live life with passion, this is really important, happy couples seem to take everything in their stride and put 100% of their energy into enjoying their time together. If you are really passionate about your lives this alone will remove most of the small problems couple face.
How to Prevent Extra Marital Affairs
Women often marry with a goal of keeping their relationship for a lifetime. However, this does not always happen the way they want it. Sometimes, problems set in with the worst being extra marital affairs.
While married men and women can get into relationships outside of marriage, it's the men who are often guilty of this. They may stray at some points in their married life. Some would even go to the extent of defending themselves using the usual phrase "men are polygamous by nature" as a reason.
Psychologists say there are various factors that cause men to stray. They may fall for other women to compensate what they lack in their marriage. It can be various things such as lack of affection, respect, communication and intimacy from their partners.
But wives have the power to prevent their husbands from getting into illicit relationships. If you want to protect your marital bond and strengthen it, you should initiate the steps so that your spouse won't cheat on you and will only focus on you and you alone.
First off, it's never a good attitude to be complacent about your relationship. If you feel contented about how your marriage is going, don't just sit there and relax. Remember that your partnership needs to be nurtured on a regular basis so do the best you can to inspire your husband. Do this by giving encouraging words, appreciating his actions as well as showing positive acts of love and kindness such as hugs, kisses and smiles. If you can do these acts every day, so much the better.
Secondly, communicate in an honest way. Always keep your lines of communication open because by not being able to express what you think and feel, your partner would not know what the issues are in your marriage. Learn to talk when it's the right time and to listen as well when needed. Avoid heated arguments but discuss issues when your heads are cool.
By communicating regularly, you will also have the chance to prove if your suspicions are right. Wives normally have this gut feeling when they sense something is not right in their marriage. But if you don't talk to your husband about issues that matter to you, you will continue to get stressed out.
Time is also gold. Many married couples today lead a fast paced lifestyle. But never forget to spare time for each other. It shouldn't be an entire day just a few hours that you can be together on your own without the kids. Go on a dinner date or watch a movie and put problems away from your mind just for that moment.
Finally, do some reality check every now and then. Reflect on what you've done for your relationship and your family as a whole. Ask yourself where you did right and in what instances did you do wrong. You can then resolve to do things better the next time by developing more positive traits that will help you manage your marriage better going forward. And it isn't too late to do these things if you truly love your partner.
While married men and women can get into relationships outside of marriage, it's the men who are often guilty of this. They may stray at some points in their married life. Some would even go to the extent of defending themselves using the usual phrase "men are polygamous by nature" as a reason.
Psychologists say there are various factors that cause men to stray. They may fall for other women to compensate what they lack in their marriage. It can be various things such as lack of affection, respect, communication and intimacy from their partners.
But wives have the power to prevent their husbands from getting into illicit relationships. If you want to protect your marital bond and strengthen it, you should initiate the steps so that your spouse won't cheat on you and will only focus on you and you alone.
First off, it's never a good attitude to be complacent about your relationship. If you feel contented about how your marriage is going, don't just sit there and relax. Remember that your partnership needs to be nurtured on a regular basis so do the best you can to inspire your husband. Do this by giving encouraging words, appreciating his actions as well as showing positive acts of love and kindness such as hugs, kisses and smiles. If you can do these acts every day, so much the better.
Secondly, communicate in an honest way. Always keep your lines of communication open because by not being able to express what you think and feel, your partner would not know what the issues are in your marriage. Learn to talk when it's the right time and to listen as well when needed. Avoid heated arguments but discuss issues when your heads are cool.
By communicating regularly, you will also have the chance to prove if your suspicions are right. Wives normally have this gut feeling when they sense something is not right in their marriage. But if you don't talk to your husband about issues that matter to you, you will continue to get stressed out.
Time is also gold. Many married couples today lead a fast paced lifestyle. But never forget to spare time for each other. It shouldn't be an entire day just a few hours that you can be together on your own without the kids. Go on a dinner date or watch a movie and put problems away from your mind just for that moment.
Finally, do some reality check every now and then. Reflect on what you've done for your relationship and your family as a whole. Ask yourself where you did right and in what instances did you do wrong. You can then resolve to do things better the next time by developing more positive traits that will help you manage your marriage better going forward. And it isn't too late to do these things if you truly love your partner.
How to Prevent Extra Marital Affairs
Women often marry with a goal of keeping their relationship for a lifetime. However, this does not always happen the way they want it. Sometimes, problems set in with the worst being extra marital affairs.
While married men and women can get into relationships outside of marriage, it's the men who are often guilty of this. They may stray at some points in their married life. Some would even go to the extent of defending themselves using the usual phrase "men are polygamous by nature" as a reason.
Psychologists say there are various factors that cause men to stray. They may fall for other women to compensate what they lack in their marriage. It can be various things such as lack of affection, respect, communication and intimacy from their partners.
But wives have the power to prevent their husbands from getting into illicit relationships. If you want to protect your marital bond and strengthen it, you should initiate the steps so that your spouse won't cheat on you and will only focus on you and you alone.
First off, it's never a good attitude to be complacent about your relationship. If you feel contented about how your marriage is going, don't just sit there and relax. Remember that your partnership needs to be nurtured on a regular basis so do the best you can to inspire your husband. Do this by giving encouraging words, appreciating his actions as well as showing positive acts of love and kindness such as hugs, kisses and smiles. If you can do these acts every day, so much the better.
Secondly, communicate in an honest way. Always keep your lines of communication open because by not being able to express what you think and feel, your partner would not know what the issues are in your marriage. Learn to talk when it's the right time and to listen as well when needed. Avoid heated arguments but discuss issues when your heads are cool.
By communicating regularly, you will also have the chance to prove if your suspicions are right. Wives normally have this gut feeling when they sense something is not right in their marriage. But if you don't talk to your husband about issues that matter to you, you will continue to get stressed out.
Time is also gold. Many married couples today lead a fast paced lifestyle. But never forget to spare time for each other. It shouldn't be an entire day just a few hours that you can be together on your own without the kids. Go on a dinner date or watch a movie and put problems away from your mind just for that moment.
Finally, do some reality check every now and then. Reflect on what you've done for your relationship and your family as a whole. Ask yourself where you did right and in what instances did you do wrong. You can then resolve to do things better the next time by developing more positive traits that will help you manage your marriage better going forward. And it isn't too late to do these things if you truly love your partner.
While married men and women can get into relationships outside of marriage, it's the men who are often guilty of this. They may stray at some points in their married life. Some would even go to the extent of defending themselves using the usual phrase "men are polygamous by nature" as a reason.
Psychologists say there are various factors that cause men to stray. They may fall for other women to compensate what they lack in their marriage. It can be various things such as lack of affection, respect, communication and intimacy from their partners.
But wives have the power to prevent their husbands from getting into illicit relationships. If you want to protect your marital bond and strengthen it, you should initiate the steps so that your spouse won't cheat on you and will only focus on you and you alone.
First off, it's never a good attitude to be complacent about your relationship. If you feel contented about how your marriage is going, don't just sit there and relax. Remember that your partnership needs to be nurtured on a regular basis so do the best you can to inspire your husband. Do this by giving encouraging words, appreciating his actions as well as showing positive acts of love and kindness such as hugs, kisses and smiles. If you can do these acts every day, so much the better.
Secondly, communicate in an honest way. Always keep your lines of communication open because by not being able to express what you think and feel, your partner would not know what the issues are in your marriage. Learn to talk when it's the right time and to listen as well when needed. Avoid heated arguments but discuss issues when your heads are cool.
By communicating regularly, you will also have the chance to prove if your suspicions are right. Wives normally have this gut feeling when they sense something is not right in their marriage. But if you don't talk to your husband about issues that matter to you, you will continue to get stressed out.
Time is also gold. Many married couples today lead a fast paced lifestyle. But never forget to spare time for each other. It shouldn't be an entire day just a few hours that you can be together on your own without the kids. Go on a dinner date or watch a movie and put problems away from your mind just for that moment.
Finally, do some reality check every now and then. Reflect on what you've done for your relationship and your family as a whole. Ask yourself where you did right and in what instances did you do wrong. You can then resolve to do things better the next time by developing more positive traits that will help you manage your marriage better going forward. And it isn't too late to do these things if you truly love your partner.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)