That one momentous decision, when you decided to share your life with that very special person, ushered in boundless joy, happiness and an experience second to none of the experiences you've had before. As the days rolled by you even wonder how you had lived without each other so long.
Then as the days turn into years you discover that without your realizing your priorities have changed from each other to the nitty gritties involved in the running of your lives-the bills, the children's schools, a better lifestyle etc.
Most marriages go through this stage and come out of it by making conscious effort to shift focus. But, instances where people have gone through marriages that have lasted thirty to forty years with the partners living in two different worlds is also common.
But keeping the flame of love burning is not back breaking work and the results are a lifetime of sheer bliss and togetherness. So, its well worth a try.
- Look at your life together as one. Weave things that that are meaningful to you as a person and those that are meaningful to your spouse into the fabric of your married life.
For instance there may be things around the house that you think are useless. But, they are your spouse's precious possessions. Instead of trying to convince him/her to see your viewpoint the issue is best left untackled.
- Take note of all the little things that you used to give so much importance to during the initial years of your marriage. Remember how you used to call him up, "just like that"? or give him a reminder call just before lunch. Or better still check out his/ her schedule and fix a surprise lunch/ dinner date.
- Make it a point to eat at least one meal together.
- Remove the television from the bedroom and the drawing room.
- Develop a hobby together. Make it a ritual to spend at least half an hour together on your chosen hobby.
- Do not take quarrels back to bed. Always make up before you go to bed.
- Let go of the past. If you have painful memories of some pain or hurt inflicted upon you by your spouse haunting you even now then just forgive and forget.
- Don't contradict or criticize your spouse in front of others. Something that comes naturally to most couples who have married for a while.
- Praise your spouse (good idea to have him/her) within hearing distance to others.
- Don't compare him with Mr. A, B or C
- Cherish small things. Like a call made to you to ask you if you had eaten lunch. Or a cute 'miss you' SMS.
- After a few years of togetherness whining and complaining seems to come very naturally to us. Be careful about this. It can be very dangerous. Whenever possible try to refrain from doing this.
- Consult each other when taking important decisions. Many of us seem to feel that this is not necessary because your spouse had absolute faith in you/your taste.
- Take interest or at least show some interest and enthusiasm in things that interest your spouse.
- Complement each other.
- Don't keep secrets from one another.
- Make your spouse feel special by doing meaningful things. Like taking care of the kids and the house while she spends a leisurely day at the beauty parlour.
- Be honest with each other.
- Last but not the least, say the magic words "I love you" to each other every single day.
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