Developing your inner game simply means taking full use of potentials. You can attribute your inner game to both mind set and experience. Your inner game has a lot to do with your confidence. You can't develop confidence unless you believe in yourself and practice self assurance. Inner game has a lot to do with mind set too.
If you continue to perceive yourself as a sorry loser, then that is what you will project to the outside world. Have a positive mind set for encouraging results on your inner game. Here are some tips to work on your inner game.
Have a positive outlook in life. Think "I can do it" and chances are "you can do it". Winning a game, or topping an exams, to scoring with a girl is first "won" in your head. You have to think that you are going to do it to have a mind set for the "win". If you think you can't, then half the battle has been lost already.
Do not let the results obsessed you. Do the best you can and stop worrying about the outcome. In a game of golf, having a mind set of you winning the tournament is well and good. However if during the game you keep on obsessing about winning, you are definitely distracting yourself which could upset your chances of actually playing well.
Center your attention on having fun. Just have fun! Tell yourself that you are confident and self-assured. Tell yourself that you are ready to face the challenge. If you look like someone who is fun to be with, girls will gravitate towards you.
Do not be afraid to try new things. Be adventurous but not to the point of the ridiculous or dangerous. Life is too short. You need to widen and broaden your horizon to gain experience. Approach the girl. If she refuses to even acknowledge your presence back off and "rewind". What was the mistake in the approach? Think! Experience is the greatest teacher.
Do not dwell on what you cannot change. Work on your positive points and attributes. Do not waste your time lamenting on the negatives that you cannot change. If you are short, there's no way you can be tall unless you use platform shoes or science has invented a new human growth hormone. Focus on the positive. Develop your endearing qualities and you will be a better person for that.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
How to Find a Girlfriend
It is not easy for many men to find a girlfriend and approaching a girl to men is the most terrifying thing to do. Men, like anyone else is afraid of rejection too which is why finding a girlfriend can be quite a chore for them.
The most important thing to know and keep in mind is to find the girl who suits your type and personality. Here are some tips on how to find a girlfriend who will be your soul mate.
How to find a girl friend begins with knowing what type of person you are. If you are the quiet type and likes reading, then head over the library and see if you can find any girl who catches your attention. The thing is, both of you like have something in common where both of you loves books.
Be really sure of what type of women you like and go for it. Don't settle for anything but the best. Choose carefully and be sure that you are not confusing real love attraction with infatuation. How to find a girlfriend when you barely know her except by her physical outlook is to get to know her personally as a friend. By being friends you can gauge her personality and then you can use it to match against your image of your ideal girl.
The last tip on how to find a girlfriend is to make every conversation counts. You need to have a plan when you start talking to the girl to know her better. If you likes her personality, then use your conversation to get information you want about her such as her telephone number. Don't make your conversation too focused on your objectives to get her attention.
Making a connection is important to know the girl better. Sometimes she will not be open with you instantly. After all, you are still a stranger to her.
If you genuinely want to know her better, then putting the effort will eventually make her comfortable enough to get close to you. How to find a girl friend is not that hard after all if you follow these steps recommended.
You can also add your own style on approaching girls so that you won't seem like you are reading from a script. Just enjoy the fun while you search for your dream girl
The most important thing to know and keep in mind is to find the girl who suits your type and personality. Here are some tips on how to find a girlfriend who will be your soul mate.
How to find a girl friend begins with knowing what type of person you are. If you are the quiet type and likes reading, then head over the library and see if you can find any girl who catches your attention. The thing is, both of you like have something in common where both of you loves books.
Be really sure of what type of women you like and go for it. Don't settle for anything but the best. Choose carefully and be sure that you are not confusing real love attraction with infatuation. How to find a girlfriend when you barely know her except by her physical outlook is to get to know her personally as a friend. By being friends you can gauge her personality and then you can use it to match against your image of your ideal girl.
The last tip on how to find a girlfriend is to make every conversation counts. You need to have a plan when you start talking to the girl to know her better. If you likes her personality, then use your conversation to get information you want about her such as her telephone number. Don't make your conversation too focused on your objectives to get her attention.
Making a connection is important to know the girl better. Sometimes she will not be open with you instantly. After all, you are still a stranger to her.
If you genuinely want to know her better, then putting the effort will eventually make her comfortable enough to get close to you. How to find a girl friend is not that hard after all if you follow these steps recommended.
You can also add your own style on approaching girls so that you won't seem like you are reading from a script. Just enjoy the fun while you search for your dream girl
Emotional Infidelity - Why it Happens and What You Should Do If it Happens to You
Are you worrying that there might be emotional infidelity going on in your marriage, and you're really not sure what to do. Furthermore, you're not sure why your partner or spouse would go out and have an emotional affair on you.
Why Does Emotional Infidelity Happen?
Well, there are tons and tons of theories on this. My opinion and approach to it, and it makes a lot of since thinking back on my experience with it, is pretty simple. I don't like to over complicate things that are so important. It's bad enough that it hurts so bad, but when you have to analyze it to death it's even worse.
My theory is that it's because the person having the emotional infidelity is simply missing key components within the relationship that are causing him or her to go elsewhere for them.
Usually this key component is less of something like sex, or attraction, and more of an appeal to get back a passion in their lives.
You see passion is a huge driving force that keeps a marriage alive. In my estimation, when passion is gone, it's the beginning of the end of the marriage. Passion fits into a category of human need that we all must have.
Variety is a basic human need. It's variety that caused you to marry in the first place. Heck, it's variety that caused you to go on the first date that started the relationship. After that as your relationship escalated, so did the variety in the beginning. You wondered what would happen next, and had no idea. The variety is there.
But after marriage, or a long relationship then things can get stale. The problem is that all the days begin to look like one another, and the variety...the spice of life is lost. Life gets in the way, kids activities get in the way, along with tired bodies and all. Before you know it, passion is a thing of the past, and you begin feeling like you'll never get it back.
But I assure you that beginning to get that passion is well worth the work that it takes.
Whoa, it's gonna take work? Well yes, most things in life that are worth it usually do take some work. The fact is that your marriage may be in a bit more trouble right now than just a lost of passion. Your spouse or partner and you may have lost your North Star.
There's a good chance that there are things that need to be taken care of. Of course there is because at this point your hurt, and you're angry, and feeling a whole lot of resentment toward them. But the one thing that you don't want to do when it comes to emotional infidelity is to go crazy, and start wanting to do nothing but talk about what's going on and why. You know why, so talking will do nothing.
So first thing that you want to do is find your way again in your marriage. YOU find YOUR way. You will likely be doing this by yourself, and believe me that IS possible.
The next thing is to start putting some passion back into your marriage, and any reason that you or your spouse would have to go through emotional infidelity in order to get the excitement that you used to feel.
First things first, let's get that marriage back on track. Fixing marriage trouble isn't easy to do on your own without knowing WHAT to do, and how to do it.
Why Does Emotional Infidelity Happen?
Well, there are tons and tons of theories on this. My opinion and approach to it, and it makes a lot of since thinking back on my experience with it, is pretty simple. I don't like to over complicate things that are so important. It's bad enough that it hurts so bad, but when you have to analyze it to death it's even worse.
My theory is that it's because the person having the emotional infidelity is simply missing key components within the relationship that are causing him or her to go elsewhere for them.
Usually this key component is less of something like sex, or attraction, and more of an appeal to get back a passion in their lives.
You see passion is a huge driving force that keeps a marriage alive. In my estimation, when passion is gone, it's the beginning of the end of the marriage. Passion fits into a category of human need that we all must have.
Variety is a basic human need. It's variety that caused you to marry in the first place. Heck, it's variety that caused you to go on the first date that started the relationship. After that as your relationship escalated, so did the variety in the beginning. You wondered what would happen next, and had no idea. The variety is there.
But after marriage, or a long relationship then things can get stale. The problem is that all the days begin to look like one another, and the variety...the spice of life is lost. Life gets in the way, kids activities get in the way, along with tired bodies and all. Before you know it, passion is a thing of the past, and you begin feeling like you'll never get it back.
But I assure you that beginning to get that passion is well worth the work that it takes.
Whoa, it's gonna take work? Well yes, most things in life that are worth it usually do take some work. The fact is that your marriage may be in a bit more trouble right now than just a lost of passion. Your spouse or partner and you may have lost your North Star.
There's a good chance that there are things that need to be taken care of. Of course there is because at this point your hurt, and you're angry, and feeling a whole lot of resentment toward them. But the one thing that you don't want to do when it comes to emotional infidelity is to go crazy, and start wanting to do nothing but talk about what's going on and why. You know why, so talking will do nothing.
So first thing that you want to do is find your way again in your marriage. YOU find YOUR way. You will likely be doing this by yourself, and believe me that IS possible.
The next thing is to start putting some passion back into your marriage, and any reason that you or your spouse would have to go through emotional infidelity in order to get the excitement that you used to feel.
First things first, let's get that marriage back on track. Fixing marriage trouble isn't easy to do on your own without knowing WHAT to do, and how to do it.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friendship - Why More Than One Best Friend is Good
When I was a child, I considered the status of "best friend" to be somewhat singular. Out of all your friends, the best would be that one whom you cherished or bonded with the most. It seemed as if you could have many good friends, but only one best friend.
As an adult, I consider it possible to have more than one prime friend. To some, it may seem as though you are not being sincere. After all, some best friends would rarely expect you to have others with that title.
To avoid seeming insincere or indiscriminating may be a matter of semantics. "You are my best friend" implies exclusivity. "You are one of my best!" does not. However, friendship is not about ego-boosting.
The beauty of friendship is that it could exist as one-to-one, one-to-many or many-to-many relationships. These days, more people are becoming connected online and offline. Therefore, it is likely that we would find a lot more people whom we place in our inner circle of friendship.
Friendship is also non-exclusive. In the same manner that you could have more than one friend, there is nothing unethical about having a group of best friends. In fact, you could have a group where everyone is a best friend to others.
Having more than one very good friend demonstrates that you accept diversity. You accept that you do not necessarily have to compare your close friends. Instead, you appreciate what makes them unique. That is a powerful idea indeed. Some people simply avoid discriminating among their close friends. It is not always practical or necessary to sit and wonder which one you value more.
It is all right to have even several best friends because of the different nature of relationships and their various contexts. Your spouse may be one of your best friends. You could have a best friend at the office or at church. It is already difficult to compare people. It is even natural to have several best friends, knowing that there are other close friends from various places and positions.
We all would have (and should have) criteria for choosing friends. Out of this selection, some friends would seem better because they share more interests, are more reliable or shared memorable experiences with you. However, it is wise to move from the singular best friend concept to a plural one. Even the best of friendships is vulnerable. You may be a lot better off having a round table of best friends.
As an adult, I consider it possible to have more than one prime friend. To some, it may seem as though you are not being sincere. After all, some best friends would rarely expect you to have others with that title.
To avoid seeming insincere or indiscriminating may be a matter of semantics. "You are my best friend" implies exclusivity. "You are one of my best!" does not. However, friendship is not about ego-boosting.
The beauty of friendship is that it could exist as one-to-one, one-to-many or many-to-many relationships. These days, more people are becoming connected online and offline. Therefore, it is likely that we would find a lot more people whom we place in our inner circle of friendship.
Friendship is also non-exclusive. In the same manner that you could have more than one friend, there is nothing unethical about having a group of best friends. In fact, you could have a group where everyone is a best friend to others.
Having more than one very good friend demonstrates that you accept diversity. You accept that you do not necessarily have to compare your close friends. Instead, you appreciate what makes them unique. That is a powerful idea indeed. Some people simply avoid discriminating among their close friends. It is not always practical or necessary to sit and wonder which one you value more.
It is all right to have even several best friends because of the different nature of relationships and their various contexts. Your spouse may be one of your best friends. You could have a best friend at the office or at church. It is already difficult to compare people. It is even natural to have several best friends, knowing that there are other close friends from various places and positions.
We all would have (and should have) criteria for choosing friends. Out of this selection, some friends would seem better because they share more interests, are more reliable or shared memorable experiences with you. However, it is wise to move from the singular best friend concept to a plural one. Even the best of friendships is vulnerable. You may be a lot better off having a round table of best friends.
Can You Overcome Chronic Loneliness?
Solving temporary loneliness can be difficult and chronic loneliness comes from failing repeatedly to overcome temporary loneliness. So how does one overcome chronic loneliness?
Chronic loneliness can be overcome by becoming the healer, nurse and patient. To become the healer you have to acquire the knowledge required to overcome the condition. Acquiring the knowledge involves understanding what causes the condition, the action steps required to overcome it and the ability to convince the patient, i.e. you, that the steps are worth taking and will lead to a successful outcome.
To become the nurse you need to understand that taking the actions steps involves pain and emotional injury but the action steps are necessary to achieve healing. Your alter ego, the nurse, will be around to comfort you as you recover from the emotional injuries sustained in your attempts to make friends. That same nurse will be around to egg you on to keep you on a regular schedule of more attempts to make friends.
Both the healer and the nurse will not be able to help you unless you are a co-operative patient. Paying for a healer and nurse is an expensive proposition. Also, the amount of attention available from healers and nurses is good but very limited. You do know that many patients choose to ignore their doctors and nurses and go on to an untimely end, right? The choice, of course, is yours. No one can take that away from you. The end result, however, depends on your choices.
Loneliness is the hidden taboo. Most people don't like to talk about it or acknowledge it. When confronted with it their response is inadequate action. Therefore it is up to the lonely person to free himself or herself. However, most lonely people are very reluctant to take the actions needed to free themselves from loneliness.
Chronic loneliness can be overcome by becoming the healer, nurse and patient. To become the healer you have to acquire the knowledge required to overcome the condition. Acquiring the knowledge involves understanding what causes the condition, the action steps required to overcome it and the ability to convince the patient, i.e. you, that the steps are worth taking and will lead to a successful outcome.
To become the nurse you need to understand that taking the actions steps involves pain and emotional injury but the action steps are necessary to achieve healing. Your alter ego, the nurse, will be around to comfort you as you recover from the emotional injuries sustained in your attempts to make friends. That same nurse will be around to egg you on to keep you on a regular schedule of more attempts to make friends.
Both the healer and the nurse will not be able to help you unless you are a co-operative patient. Paying for a healer and nurse is an expensive proposition. Also, the amount of attention available from healers and nurses is good but very limited. You do know that many patients choose to ignore their doctors and nurses and go on to an untimely end, right? The choice, of course, is yours. No one can take that away from you. The end result, however, depends on your choices.
Loneliness is the hidden taboo. Most people don't like to talk about it or acknowledge it. When confronted with it their response is inadequate action. Therefore it is up to the lonely person to free himself or herself. However, most lonely people are very reluctant to take the actions needed to free themselves from loneliness.
No, Really, We're Just Friends
Every year, particularly during the holiday season, several acquaintances seem to feel the need to "fix me up" with someone. I can almost hear the inevitable tongue-clicking from well-meaning people who assume that, because I've been partner-less for some years now, I'm lonely. Anyone who's widowed knows precisely what I'm talking about; the sad gaze from people who hear you've lost a spouse who assume you're in a perpetual state of grief and therefore require a replacement mate as soon as possible. As annoying as their presumption can be, I really can't fault them; I'm sure their well-intentioned reaction is based on how they would react themselves in my situation, but they obviously don't know me well. If they did know me well, they'd know that I have an active social life, with plenty of friends for company.
One of my favorite friends is a man who I will call Richard, which is a good idea because that happens to be his name. Richard is great fun to be around, intelligent, witty, thoughtful and an all-around gentlemen. He is also tall, lithe, non-gay and extremely handsome, which is a positive bonus for my ego, and means I don't have to wear flats whenever we're out together. Let's face it, we're a stunning pair, Richard and I. It's a convenient arrangement as well; we're not a couple but we go to social functions together from time-to-time. We interact well with each others friends, enjoy many of the same activities and at the end of an evening, we're off to our respective homes in good spirits with a friendly peck on the cheek serving as a goodnight kiss.
Where the arrangement gets awkward however, is that sooner or later the question of our relationship status pops up somewhere in conversation and it's a tricky question to answer. As we've found from experience, there seem to be a lot of folk out there who don't believe that men and women can simply be friends. At least, we assume that's what it must be, because our standard answer to the relationship question, "we're not a couple", usually produces one of three looks; awkward glances from real couples, looks of confusion from men (as in, "are you gay?) and from the ladies, hope-filled smiles at Richard, and what they're actually thinking, I can probably guess.
In truth, it's not difficult to be close friends with a member of the opposite sex but the key component is that you cannot enter into such a friendship with the expectation of something more, and Richard and I don't have those expectations. Surely, if he was looking for romance, he could find it practically...well, anywhere, based on the amount of female attention he gets, and I could have my share of admirers as well provided I ever saw fit get up off the sofa. But for us at least, at this time in our lives, its much nicer to have the friendship of someone of the opposite sex without any of the pressure but with (almost) all of the benefits, namely companionship, caring, someone to do emergency repairs about the house (him), and someone to cook (me). Richard's simple explanation for me is "she's just like a 'mate', except better looking", and I simply say "he's my friend", and that's a basic enough explanation for anyone to understand. Can a personal relationship like this stand the test of time? If we're honest it will, of necessity change if or when either of us finds true love (whatever that mean) but for now, it's a perfectly satisfactory arrangement that I encourage anyone to try.
Now, I'm sure some readers, particularly the women-folk are asking, "wouldn't you like to be involved with this man?", and my answer is that I already am, but I'm practically certain to become more involved would probably lead to the end of a beautiful friendship.
One of my favorite friends is a man who I will call Richard, which is a good idea because that happens to be his name. Richard is great fun to be around, intelligent, witty, thoughtful and an all-around gentlemen. He is also tall, lithe, non-gay and extremely handsome, which is a positive bonus for my ego, and means I don't have to wear flats whenever we're out together. Let's face it, we're a stunning pair, Richard and I. It's a convenient arrangement as well; we're not a couple but we go to social functions together from time-to-time. We interact well with each others friends, enjoy many of the same activities and at the end of an evening, we're off to our respective homes in good spirits with a friendly peck on the cheek serving as a goodnight kiss.
Where the arrangement gets awkward however, is that sooner or later the question of our relationship status pops up somewhere in conversation and it's a tricky question to answer. As we've found from experience, there seem to be a lot of folk out there who don't believe that men and women can simply be friends. At least, we assume that's what it must be, because our standard answer to the relationship question, "we're not a couple", usually produces one of three looks; awkward glances from real couples, looks of confusion from men (as in, "are you gay?) and from the ladies, hope-filled smiles at Richard, and what they're actually thinking, I can probably guess.
In truth, it's not difficult to be close friends with a member of the opposite sex but the key component is that you cannot enter into such a friendship with the expectation of something more, and Richard and I don't have those expectations. Surely, if he was looking for romance, he could find it practically...well, anywhere, based on the amount of female attention he gets, and I could have my share of admirers as well provided I ever saw fit get up off the sofa. But for us at least, at this time in our lives, its much nicer to have the friendship of someone of the opposite sex without any of the pressure but with (almost) all of the benefits, namely companionship, caring, someone to do emergency repairs about the house (him), and someone to cook (me). Richard's simple explanation for me is "she's just like a 'mate', except better looking", and I simply say "he's my friend", and that's a basic enough explanation for anyone to understand. Can a personal relationship like this stand the test of time? If we're honest it will, of necessity change if or when either of us finds true love (whatever that mean) but for now, it's a perfectly satisfactory arrangement that I encourage anyone to try.
Now, I'm sure some readers, particularly the women-folk are asking, "wouldn't you like to be involved with this man?", and my answer is that I already am, but I'm practically certain to become more involved would probably lead to the end of a beautiful friendship.
Marriage, Love, and Compromise
The sheer thought of marriage frightened Joyce. She could not comprehend how a journey of marriage can be accomplished in a meaningful manner. She has always given to understand that sanctity of marriage is a sacred institution which has its own values. The reality gave enough evidence establishing the ugly side of the same scared institution.
Initially, as a child she failed to appreciate the nuptial knots and divorces.Which shattered her personality many times witnessing these scenes. Her personality transformed from a confused person to a matured woman. She grew older and become a confident and a sensible person. She did get the in-depth information and evaluated the pros and cons of marriage. However, there was also the softer and delicate side of Joyce. Her heart and mind were always yearning for a sincere, honest and loving mate.
She was an intelligent sailor. She learnt as a child the art of sailing in rivers and lakes. She also understood the art of navigation and boat handling. She has won a lot of laurels and recognition for her contribution to the county sailing club. Her friend Mabel was diagonally opposite in every aspect in comparison to Joyce. In spite of divergent views and personality difference, they were very close to each other. The chemistry between them was unique. She was married and well settled.
Mabel did not get a university degree; however, she grew in an orthodox family culture. Her values of life revolved around close family ties. A loving husband and children gave her total satisfaction in life. She did take part in community activities yet her family priorities overshadowed her social interaction.
Joyce was on a routine sailing trip in the lake enjoying a perfect weather for yachting. On completion of her trip, she secured the boat and proceeded towards the bar for a drink. At the bar, she met Francis, who was a young entrepreneur. A handsome looking young lad was the centre of attraction in the bar. Joyce who was equally very pretty and attractive draws equal attention from the crowed.
While Joyce was sipping her drink and enjoying, Francis approached her and introduced himself. They were chatted for a while and Joyce prepares to leave. Francis invited her for the felicitation of entrepreneurs organized by the county. An award of excellence is to be given by the Sheriff to the most successful entrepreneur of the county. Joyce accepted the invitation and departed. Francis was impressed by her veracity and extrovert nature. Joyce was impressed by his achievement at a very young age. There appeared to be a perfect chemistry developed between them.
In the felicitation function Francis was awarded as the most successful entrepreneur. There were a joy and happiness among the county crowed. After the function Francis and Joyce went to the country club for a quiet dinner. Francis proposed her and Joyce accepted it. A date was finalized and they got married. Once the honeymoon was over and life followed the regular path of business. At the outset, there was nothing, which could draw attention of others. However, Francis was devoid of any interest in sailing. On the other hand, Joyce was least interested in business like involvement. This divergent attitude of both draws flak and boredom started creeping in slowly.
Joyce being sharp and clever was also capable of taking bold and fast decision. She met Mabel and discussed these issues. Mabel recognized the gravity of the situation and advised her to be little kinder and approach the problem objectively. She also met Francis and during the conversation suggested businesslike approach of compromise and caution. Francis understood at once. Francis and Joyce realised the sensitivity of the marriage and started a new chapter of love and compromise. Indeed, it was a cherishable, happy and memorable event of their life.
Initially, as a child she failed to appreciate the nuptial knots and divorces.Which shattered her personality many times witnessing these scenes. Her personality transformed from a confused person to a matured woman. She grew older and become a confident and a sensible person. She did get the in-depth information and evaluated the pros and cons of marriage. However, there was also the softer and delicate side of Joyce. Her heart and mind were always yearning for a sincere, honest and loving mate.
She was an intelligent sailor. She learnt as a child the art of sailing in rivers and lakes. She also understood the art of navigation and boat handling. She has won a lot of laurels and recognition for her contribution to the county sailing club. Her friend Mabel was diagonally opposite in every aspect in comparison to Joyce. In spite of divergent views and personality difference, they were very close to each other. The chemistry between them was unique. She was married and well settled.
Mabel did not get a university degree; however, she grew in an orthodox family culture. Her values of life revolved around close family ties. A loving husband and children gave her total satisfaction in life. She did take part in community activities yet her family priorities overshadowed her social interaction.
Joyce was on a routine sailing trip in the lake enjoying a perfect weather for yachting. On completion of her trip, she secured the boat and proceeded towards the bar for a drink. At the bar, she met Francis, who was a young entrepreneur. A handsome looking young lad was the centre of attraction in the bar. Joyce who was equally very pretty and attractive draws equal attention from the crowed.
While Joyce was sipping her drink and enjoying, Francis approached her and introduced himself. They were chatted for a while and Joyce prepares to leave. Francis invited her for the felicitation of entrepreneurs organized by the county. An award of excellence is to be given by the Sheriff to the most successful entrepreneur of the county. Joyce accepted the invitation and departed. Francis was impressed by her veracity and extrovert nature. Joyce was impressed by his achievement at a very young age. There appeared to be a perfect chemistry developed between them.
In the felicitation function Francis was awarded as the most successful entrepreneur. There were a joy and happiness among the county crowed. After the function Francis and Joyce went to the country club for a quiet dinner. Francis proposed her and Joyce accepted it. A date was finalized and they got married. Once the honeymoon was over and life followed the regular path of business. At the outset, there was nothing, which could draw attention of others. However, Francis was devoid of any interest in sailing. On the other hand, Joyce was least interested in business like involvement. This divergent attitude of both draws flak and boredom started creeping in slowly.
Joyce being sharp and clever was also capable of taking bold and fast decision. She met Mabel and discussed these issues. Mabel recognized the gravity of the situation and advised her to be little kinder and approach the problem objectively. She also met Francis and during the conversation suggested businesslike approach of compromise and caution. Francis understood at once. Francis and Joyce realised the sensitivity of the marriage and started a new chapter of love and compromise. Indeed, it was a cherishable, happy and memorable event of their life.
Signs of a Bad Best Friend
Are you one of those people who gets along with everybody and tends not to constrain yourself with the confines of a social clique? Are you constantly trying to make connections with people you think would be a great best bud? Well, to make and keep friends is a lot harder than it seems, especially when you get out of college and start aging. But if you do have some friends, close friends at that, do you really consider them to be good friends?
Some people might not realize it at first, but there are a lot of friendships out there that are very dysfunctional. There often times is so much more than meets the eye. So how do we determine if our best friend is a good friend? How can we tell if your best friend is in fact your very "best" friend? It's simple. Just consider your relationship and look for the warning signs. Initially, you may want to ask yourself this.
1. Does my friend only come over if I'm making dinner, having my other friends over, or I offer them an incentive to hang out?
2. Does my friend try to make me feel inferior and always try to control the conversations and group hang outs?
3. Is my friend in constant competition with me and often times try to out beat me in our careers, clothes, looks, or other lifestyle choices?
4. Does my friend flirt with my boyfriend and show signs of dishonesty or disrespect?
5. Is it a regular thing to find out that your friend is bailing on you when you depend on a girly night the most?
6. Do I hear about my friend talking behind my back to other people or speaking about secrets that were supposed to be confidential?
7. Does it feel like my friend is pressuring me to take part in activities I do not usually partake in or make me feel dangerous at any time?
8. Is my friend a good example on me and if present, on my children and friends?
9. Does my best friend often try to steal the spotlight from me and belittles the things that matter most to me?
10. Does my friend get along with most people?
Warning signs of a bad best friend are simple to spot. If you only hang out to drink on bar stools and you never get a call back when you most need it, this may not be the best friend for you. If you can't trust them, or talk to them about things that matter, and feel that they could be secretly crushing on your hubby, than that is not a best friend. Take a few minutes to ask yourself these questions and find out if your best friend is actually "the best."
Some people might not realize it at first, but there are a lot of friendships out there that are very dysfunctional. There often times is so much more than meets the eye. So how do we determine if our best friend is a good friend? How can we tell if your best friend is in fact your very "best" friend? It's simple. Just consider your relationship and look for the warning signs. Initially, you may want to ask yourself this.
1. Does my friend only come over if I'm making dinner, having my other friends over, or I offer them an incentive to hang out?
2. Does my friend try to make me feel inferior and always try to control the conversations and group hang outs?
3. Is my friend in constant competition with me and often times try to out beat me in our careers, clothes, looks, or other lifestyle choices?
4. Does my friend flirt with my boyfriend and show signs of dishonesty or disrespect?
5. Is it a regular thing to find out that your friend is bailing on you when you depend on a girly night the most?
6. Do I hear about my friend talking behind my back to other people or speaking about secrets that were supposed to be confidential?
7. Does it feel like my friend is pressuring me to take part in activities I do not usually partake in or make me feel dangerous at any time?
8. Is my friend a good example on me and if present, on my children and friends?
9. Does my best friend often try to steal the spotlight from me and belittles the things that matter most to me?
10. Does my friend get along with most people?
Warning signs of a bad best friend are simple to spot. If you only hang out to drink on bar stools and you never get a call back when you most need it, this may not be the best friend for you. If you can't trust them, or talk to them about things that matter, and feel that they could be secretly crushing on your hubby, than that is not a best friend. Take a few minutes to ask yourself these questions and find out if your best friend is actually "the best."
Who is in Your Inner Circle?
Many of the mobile phone companies now talk about your inner circle, offering discounts or free minutes for connecting with those you communicate with the most, even if they do not share the same network. This offers something to ponder.
We often become like the five people we surround ourselves with the most. Thinking about that, who is in your inner circle? Who are the five people you speak to, confide in, enjoy the company of and reach for both to celebrate and to relay your achievements and challenges?
Think about each of these people. What are they teaching you about life? What mentoring do they have to offer? Do you find that you're grown in their presence? If you were a fuel tank, do they fill you or does anyone, even if only on occasion, drain you at all? What do you contribute to them? Are you fully showing up, filling their tank, being fully present when they call you?
What makes them part of your inner circle? What is special about them? Are there any characteristics they have in common? What values do they hold? Do they mirror yours?
When was the last time you expressed gratitude for them. Like the finest of customers, what are you doing to wow them now and then? What is it about you that keeps you in their circle? What gifts do you have to share?
Now expand your mind a bit more if you can take it. Look outside your inner circle to the perimeter. Is there any people just on the outskirts that would like to come in? Anyone who might be trying to get your attention? Is there someone who wants to come in, however for whatever reason they are not able to cross the shield that that protects your inner most relationships.
Is there someone just outside of reach that you would like to invite in? Perhaps someone you chatted with at the gym or a new neighbor that feels like they might have the potential of deep mutual friendship. What about an office colleague who looks up to you and seeks you as their mentor but is too afraid to ask? Are there people on the outside that somehow made their way out of the circle and life got too busy to reconnect and draw them back in?
And lastly, is there a version of you on the outer circle that needs to be taken care of. Perhaps with the busy work schedule or lifestyle the time for relaxation, joy and self awareness has also seeped out of focus. How can you bring your self-care to the forefront?
Note your inner and outer circles. Perhaps even think of expanding your inner circle to let so many more in, don't worry it won't cost you more in your communication plan. Make what adjustments you see fit. Share the gratitude for those that support you, perhaps invite new members in, perhaps, if necessary move some out. Either way let us reflect on the joy we humans share through connectedness with others.
We often become like the five people we surround ourselves with the most. Thinking about that, who is in your inner circle? Who are the five people you speak to, confide in, enjoy the company of and reach for both to celebrate and to relay your achievements and challenges?
Think about each of these people. What are they teaching you about life? What mentoring do they have to offer? Do you find that you're grown in their presence? If you were a fuel tank, do they fill you or does anyone, even if only on occasion, drain you at all? What do you contribute to them? Are you fully showing up, filling their tank, being fully present when they call you?
What makes them part of your inner circle? What is special about them? Are there any characteristics they have in common? What values do they hold? Do they mirror yours?
When was the last time you expressed gratitude for them. Like the finest of customers, what are you doing to wow them now and then? What is it about you that keeps you in their circle? What gifts do you have to share?
Now expand your mind a bit more if you can take it. Look outside your inner circle to the perimeter. Is there any people just on the outskirts that would like to come in? Anyone who might be trying to get your attention? Is there someone who wants to come in, however for whatever reason they are not able to cross the shield that that protects your inner most relationships.
Is there someone just outside of reach that you would like to invite in? Perhaps someone you chatted with at the gym or a new neighbor that feels like they might have the potential of deep mutual friendship. What about an office colleague who looks up to you and seeks you as their mentor but is too afraid to ask? Are there people on the outside that somehow made their way out of the circle and life got too busy to reconnect and draw them back in?
And lastly, is there a version of you on the outer circle that needs to be taken care of. Perhaps with the busy work schedule or lifestyle the time for relaxation, joy and self awareness has also seeped out of focus. How can you bring your self-care to the forefront?
Note your inner and outer circles. Perhaps even think of expanding your inner circle to let so many more in, don't worry it won't cost you more in your communication plan. Make what adjustments you see fit. Share the gratitude for those that support you, perhaps invite new members in, perhaps, if necessary move some out. Either way let us reflect on the joy we humans share through connectedness with others.
Friendship & Relationships - Low Moods Can Be Dangerous? Know the Signals!
Who would doubt the value of a great friend. Communication & Support is a bonus & adds happiness. Sharing thoughts, ideas & emotions enable friends to provide encouragement & support.
What if a friend is down, when does down turn dangerous? What are signs to look out for? Increasing our awareness - allows the opportunity to raise the alarm if a friend in deep depression may be a danger to themselves.
Real Friends Share
True friends share thoughts & feelings
Friendship is something you can count on
Genuine Friends try to be a shoulder to lean on
What Friends May Reveal?
Being a friend requires regular communication to remain up to date & share:
Then joys, accomplishments & desires
The hardships, struggles & obstacles
A friend is likely to be the first to identify significant changes.
My Friend is Acting Weird
Lack of interest, Tendency to Isolate & overall pessimism
Major changes in the personality, habits, character
Negative Behaviour patterns
What do I Say? Just Listen!
The ability to listen is a friends greatest Asset
Allowing a person to express their feelings
Showing empathy & compassion
Such things emphasize the true value of friendship. Communicating what the heart feels & knowing someone cares enough to listen.
More often than not it is the opening up of what you are feeling that leads to real help. Opening up is not necessarily screaming out that you wish to receive a thousand instructions.
Listen Carefully - Not Many Questions
How are you feeling now?
How long have you been feeling this way?
You may be able to identify whether anyone else is aware of the situation. Working along with another person shares the load and allows for additional support & monitoring if necessary.
See What Words Cannot Say!
Is the problem totally overwhelming for your friend
It this out of character for this person
Hopelessness, Desperation & Fear extremely evident
Expressions of Self Harm or Self Destructive Behaviour Patterns
Does the situation feel too intense for you to handle
The role of a friend is not to diagnose any health illness, let alone an extremely complex condition involving mental illness, in this case major depression or clinical depression.
Being a Friend - Not Accountable
A friend is not responsible for the decisions & actions of another person
Genuine Friendship should involve more than just listening & being a shoulder to lean on. Being aware of the differences & patterns between a low mood & a possible mental illness can be life saving.
Understanding the differences between the two, may provide the opportunity to raise the alarm that your friend maybe in serious trouble. It does not mean you are responsible to solve it, but a better position to call for help on your friends' behalf.
What if a friend is down, when does down turn dangerous? What are signs to look out for? Increasing our awareness - allows the opportunity to raise the alarm if a friend in deep depression may be a danger to themselves.
Real Friends Share
True friends share thoughts & feelings
Friendship is something you can count on
Genuine Friends try to be a shoulder to lean on
What Friends May Reveal?
Being a friend requires regular communication to remain up to date & share:
Then joys, accomplishments & desires
The hardships, struggles & obstacles
A friend is likely to be the first to identify significant changes.
My Friend is Acting Weird
Lack of interest, Tendency to Isolate & overall pessimism
Major changes in the personality, habits, character
Negative Behaviour patterns
What do I Say? Just Listen!
The ability to listen is a friends greatest Asset
Allowing a person to express their feelings
Showing empathy & compassion
Such things emphasize the true value of friendship. Communicating what the heart feels & knowing someone cares enough to listen.
More often than not it is the opening up of what you are feeling that leads to real help. Opening up is not necessarily screaming out that you wish to receive a thousand instructions.
Listen Carefully - Not Many Questions
How are you feeling now?
How long have you been feeling this way?
You may be able to identify whether anyone else is aware of the situation. Working along with another person shares the load and allows for additional support & monitoring if necessary.
See What Words Cannot Say!
Is the problem totally overwhelming for your friend
It this out of character for this person
Hopelessness, Desperation & Fear extremely evident
Expressions of Self Harm or Self Destructive Behaviour Patterns
Does the situation feel too intense for you to handle
The role of a friend is not to diagnose any health illness, let alone an extremely complex condition involving mental illness, in this case major depression or clinical depression.
Being a Friend - Not Accountable
A friend is not responsible for the decisions & actions of another person
Genuine Friendship should involve more than just listening & being a shoulder to lean on. Being aware of the differences & patterns between a low mood & a possible mental illness can be life saving.
Understanding the differences between the two, may provide the opportunity to raise the alarm that your friend maybe in serious trouble. It does not mean you are responsible to solve it, but a better position to call for help on your friends' behalf.
When He Wants to Be More Than Just Friends
I'm sure every girl faces the same dilemma. When your boy-friend wants to be more than just friends, saying no could be damaging to your friendship but saying yes could just make it worse when you break up. What to do? Read through and see if the tips provided will suit you.
Be straight with yourself
Before you give him an answer, ask yourself, do you want to be 'more than friends' with him? Because, if you do and you tell him no, you will find yourself in trouble. Every time you see him, there will always be a sense of regret in your heart. Well, there's always the option of moving countries when you just cannot face him. If you do share the same feeling as him, take some time to think of where it may lead you. If it's only going to end like any other relationship, I suggest you just say no to him. Otherwise, you'll feel more awkward after you guys break up. What is the point in a relationship if it's only going to tear your friendship away?
Religion first
Some religions do not encourage teenage coupling for numerous reasons. One of them, it may lead to teenage pregnancy. How? Well, as your 'feelings' for your 'lover' grow, you will feel more as if you're 'married' to him, and hence more open to share a more 'private' relationship. The next thing you know, you're in labour room with your parents looking after you, since your so-called-boyfriend is done with 'having fun' with you and is too young to look after you and your baby.
When you're a girl, you need to think twice whenever a guy asks you out - no matter how good or nice they look, there will always be a high possibility that they don't want you for who you are, they just want to 'test' you and then dump you, in search of another 'victim'. Think of what he has done. Have you ever heard of him cheating on girls? Because if he has, what is there that's going to stop him from cheating on you? Test him to see if he really is serious about the relationship, if he's not, get over the worthless guy and move on. There's always someone else who can do you better, if you only cared to wait.
Study study study
One of the best 'excuse' you can use. Why? Because it's true. Studies and boys, your studies is more important. Without it, you're less likely to succeed as you'll focus more of your concentration on your boyfriend than your grades and the same would happen to him. So technically, when you say no and explain why, you are doing a favour for yourself and him.
It's not the end of the world
Don't let yourself feel inferior than other people only because you don't have a boyfriend. I have some friends that just cannot 'live' without having a boyfriend. They're just so scared of not having one. Why? I don't know. It's as if having a boyfriend is a need in today's world. "If you don't have one, you're a nobody!" - that's what they all say. What about what we say? "You're not me, how do you know I'm a nobody?" Life is a test, and like any other test, you can't copy someone else - that's cheating! You need to revise and learn new stuff and answer the questions by yourself.
So, why do you stress yourself so much just to follow other people's lives. Who said their life is better than yours? Just be your own self and don't worry about what people may say, as long as you know you're right and is doing stuff that is best for you, your life! Don't be afraid, if you want to say no, just say no. At least you'll know for a fact that you do not have to rely on someone else to make you feel good about yourself
Be straight with yourself
Before you give him an answer, ask yourself, do you want to be 'more than friends' with him? Because, if you do and you tell him no, you will find yourself in trouble. Every time you see him, there will always be a sense of regret in your heart. Well, there's always the option of moving countries when you just cannot face him. If you do share the same feeling as him, take some time to think of where it may lead you. If it's only going to end like any other relationship, I suggest you just say no to him. Otherwise, you'll feel more awkward after you guys break up. What is the point in a relationship if it's only going to tear your friendship away?
Religion first
Some religions do not encourage teenage coupling for numerous reasons. One of them, it may lead to teenage pregnancy. How? Well, as your 'feelings' for your 'lover' grow, you will feel more as if you're 'married' to him, and hence more open to share a more 'private' relationship. The next thing you know, you're in labour room with your parents looking after you, since your so-called-boyfriend is done with 'having fun' with you and is too young to look after you and your baby.
When you're a girl, you need to think twice whenever a guy asks you out - no matter how good or nice they look, there will always be a high possibility that they don't want you for who you are, they just want to 'test' you and then dump you, in search of another 'victim'. Think of what he has done. Have you ever heard of him cheating on girls? Because if he has, what is there that's going to stop him from cheating on you? Test him to see if he really is serious about the relationship, if he's not, get over the worthless guy and move on. There's always someone else who can do you better, if you only cared to wait.
Study study study
One of the best 'excuse' you can use. Why? Because it's true. Studies and boys, your studies is more important. Without it, you're less likely to succeed as you'll focus more of your concentration on your boyfriend than your grades and the same would happen to him. So technically, when you say no and explain why, you are doing a favour for yourself and him.
It's not the end of the world
Don't let yourself feel inferior than other people only because you don't have a boyfriend. I have some friends that just cannot 'live' without having a boyfriend. They're just so scared of not having one. Why? I don't know. It's as if having a boyfriend is a need in today's world. "If you don't have one, you're a nobody!" - that's what they all say. What about what we say? "You're not me, how do you know I'm a nobody?" Life is a test, and like any other test, you can't copy someone else - that's cheating! You need to revise and learn new stuff and answer the questions by yourself.
So, why do you stress yourself so much just to follow other people's lives. Who said their life is better than yours? Just be your own self and don't worry about what people may say, as long as you know you're right and is doing stuff that is best for you, your life! Don't be afraid, if you want to say no, just say no. At least you'll know for a fact that you do not have to rely on someone else to make you feel good about yourself
A Friendly Appearance
Don't you just love those friends that seem to make an appearance only when they have a problem? Last week I received a phone call from someone I have not spoken with in quite a while. She called to inform me her relationship with her husband was in turmoil, and she was making plans to leave him. Basically she called me to let of some steam, ask my opinion and advice. I have known her for quite a few years now and I am accustomed to her occasional "I have problem phone calls." Quite honestly, I tend to her because she is a nice person who happens not to have many friends in her life.
I know the nice lonely girl story all to well. So I gave her my time, an ear and a little advice. You see, during my nice lonely girl days I did a lot of the same, I reach out to people at my lowest. But, when I felt everything was in control, I never bothered to see if maybe, just maybe someone else was in there lowest and needed a friend.
Eventually of course people catch on to this sort of behavior and just like the boy that cried wolf, you will some day have no one to reach out to when you are at the bottom of the pit.
During those days I did a lot wondering about why the things that were happening to me happened, why I was so misunderstood, why I was so lonely. After all I thought "do they not see what a nice girl I am?" Then one day during one of my divine moments it came to me. And I have to say I have been very fortunate with divine moments, I have had many. During that moment it dawned on me that perhaps, just perhaps if I would take the time to see what was happening to others on a regular basis and not just when I was in need, I would receive the same. Of course this did not start infiltrating my way of life immediately; I had to feel a genuine need to help others, be a friend, build concrete relationships, and offer companionship.
Today, I care about my friends, and I have friends that care about me, I take the time to pick up the phone a on a regular basis to call them and see how they are doing. When they are in need I am there for them and when I have a problem they seem to naturally appear there for me, gee I wonder why?
I firmly believe in the saying you "get back what you put out." Whether it is being a sister, brother, son, mother, daughter or a friend being there on a mutual basis shows care and brings more light to a way of life. When you do it and feel it with genuine concern and love in your heart, there is not anything in this world that compares.
I know the nice lonely girl story all to well. So I gave her my time, an ear and a little advice. You see, during my nice lonely girl days I did a lot of the same, I reach out to people at my lowest. But, when I felt everything was in control, I never bothered to see if maybe, just maybe someone else was in there lowest and needed a friend.
Eventually of course people catch on to this sort of behavior and just like the boy that cried wolf, you will some day have no one to reach out to when you are at the bottom of the pit.
During those days I did a lot wondering about why the things that were happening to me happened, why I was so misunderstood, why I was so lonely. After all I thought "do they not see what a nice girl I am?" Then one day during one of my divine moments it came to me. And I have to say I have been very fortunate with divine moments, I have had many. During that moment it dawned on me that perhaps, just perhaps if I would take the time to see what was happening to others on a regular basis and not just when I was in need, I would receive the same. Of course this did not start infiltrating my way of life immediately; I had to feel a genuine need to help others, be a friend, build concrete relationships, and offer companionship.
Today, I care about my friends, and I have friends that care about me, I take the time to pick up the phone a on a regular basis to call them and see how they are doing. When they are in need I am there for them and when I have a problem they seem to naturally appear there for me, gee I wonder why?
I firmly believe in the saying you "get back what you put out." Whether it is being a sister, brother, son, mother, daughter or a friend being there on a mutual basis shows care and brings more light to a way of life. When you do it and feel it with genuine concern and love in your heart, there is not anything in this world that compares.
Are You Loving Others Enough?
Loving others means that you are showing longsuffering kindness to others (see I Cor. 13:4-18). It is obvious that we are duty bound to love those who we are committed to such as family members and to a lesser degree, friends, and even lesser degree co-workers and neighbors.
However, I remind us that we are duty bound to love even our enemies, according to Matthew 5:44. Here are several suggestions in this area of Christian growth:
1. Love others enough to show courtesy. It is sad to see how difficult it is to get people to simply say, "good morning," to one another. Some act as if smiling is painful or calls for too much energy. Lending a hand shake or opening a door seems so far stretched for too many.
Loving others should include a certain amount of courtesy. In fact, among believers, Paul talks about greeting one another with a holy kiss (see Rom. 16:16). This calls for more discussion, but we can surely say that a holy kiss would include some basic courtesy.
It is true that sometimes your friendly courteous spirit will be misunderstood and even taken advantage of. However, tweak your approach and keep obeying God's word.
We don't love because people are so lovable. Some are very hard to love (smile). We love because of God's commandment to love even those who are difficult to love (see Jn. 13:34-35; Mt. 5:44).
2. Love others enough to evangelize. Although I am listing this early, it may not be the first thing that can be worked on directly. Understand that no matter what else we do, if a person doesn't have Jesus in his or her life, they are still on their way to Hell (see Mk. 8:36).
You all can be very friendly and affectionate. You may help him or her to get a good job or out of a bad situation. But without Christ, Hell is still waiting. Visit Christian-Living-Site.com/Personal-Evangelism.html to see an article on personal evangelism. Evangelism is often at its best, in warm relationships.
3. Love others enough to respond to their perceived needs. If a person is hungry, they may need prayer, but their perceived need is food.
It is too easy for middle class people to forget how close some people live to the edge of their finances. We can forget how, while we are talking, the person we are talking to may be anxious about how they are going to satisfy basic needs.
Notice that Jesus made blind people see, lamb people walk, and gave hungry people food all in addition to teaching, preaching, praying, and forgiving. Let's strive to be more like Christ. That is, let's strive to respond to perceived needs, in addition to whatever else we are working on.
4. Love others enough to reform systems. This last idea can get ugly. It can surely get confrontational. If systems are causing harm, it is a loving thing to do to work towards fixing the systems.
For example, where there is no welfare, not child care, but unemployable young women with children, there is a system problem. Somehow the community must provide a way for the weakest to recover and move forward. In this case, it may be advocating for the provision of child care, while the mother goes to job training and get a job.
Another example may be to advocate for quality public education. If our young people don't get a quality public education, they are almost certain to go to jail or an early grave.
Thus, in the name of loving others, you may need to get involved with not simply tutoring but with making sure schools have proper funds, are using funds properly, and are dealing with student behavior issues properly.
This can be a messy love. But Jesus turned over money tables, because the system needed to be reformed (see Mt. 21:12-13). In fact, He died, as a means of sealing the new contract between humanity and God. Let's love others enough to reform systems.
In summary, loving others can be difficult. It often includes loving others enough to be courteous, to evangelize, to respond to perceived needs, and to reform systems. Please complete the feedback form below
However, I remind us that we are duty bound to love even our enemies, according to Matthew 5:44. Here are several suggestions in this area of Christian growth:
1. Love others enough to show courtesy. It is sad to see how difficult it is to get people to simply say, "good morning," to one another. Some act as if smiling is painful or calls for too much energy. Lending a hand shake or opening a door seems so far stretched for too many.
Loving others should include a certain amount of courtesy. In fact, among believers, Paul talks about greeting one another with a holy kiss (see Rom. 16:16). This calls for more discussion, but we can surely say that a holy kiss would include some basic courtesy.
It is true that sometimes your friendly courteous spirit will be misunderstood and even taken advantage of. However, tweak your approach and keep obeying God's word.
We don't love because people are so lovable. Some are very hard to love (smile). We love because of God's commandment to love even those who are difficult to love (see Jn. 13:34-35; Mt. 5:44).
2. Love others enough to evangelize. Although I am listing this early, it may not be the first thing that can be worked on directly. Understand that no matter what else we do, if a person doesn't have Jesus in his or her life, they are still on their way to Hell (see Mk. 8:36).
You all can be very friendly and affectionate. You may help him or her to get a good job or out of a bad situation. But without Christ, Hell is still waiting. Visit Christian-Living-Site.com/Personal-Evangelism.html to see an article on personal evangelism. Evangelism is often at its best, in warm relationships.
3. Love others enough to respond to their perceived needs. If a person is hungry, they may need prayer, but their perceived need is food.
It is too easy for middle class people to forget how close some people live to the edge of their finances. We can forget how, while we are talking, the person we are talking to may be anxious about how they are going to satisfy basic needs.
Notice that Jesus made blind people see, lamb people walk, and gave hungry people food all in addition to teaching, preaching, praying, and forgiving. Let's strive to be more like Christ. That is, let's strive to respond to perceived needs, in addition to whatever else we are working on.
4. Love others enough to reform systems. This last idea can get ugly. It can surely get confrontational. If systems are causing harm, it is a loving thing to do to work towards fixing the systems.
For example, where there is no welfare, not child care, but unemployable young women with children, there is a system problem. Somehow the community must provide a way for the weakest to recover and move forward. In this case, it may be advocating for the provision of child care, while the mother goes to job training and get a job.
Another example may be to advocate for quality public education. If our young people don't get a quality public education, they are almost certain to go to jail or an early grave.
Thus, in the name of loving others, you may need to get involved with not simply tutoring but with making sure schools have proper funds, are using funds properly, and are dealing with student behavior issues properly.
This can be a messy love. But Jesus turned over money tables, because the system needed to be reformed (see Mt. 21:12-13). In fact, He died, as a means of sealing the new contract between humanity and God. Let's love others enough to reform systems.
In summary, loving others can be difficult. It often includes loving others enough to be courteous, to evangelize, to respond to perceived needs, and to reform systems. Please complete the feedback form below
Creating Bonding Moments With Your Friends
Literally, almost everyone in the whole world owns a TV set. Every person has been touched by TV shows that he / she have seen at some point. The TV has already become part of our daily lives as we patiently wait each day for our favorite TV show to screen its latest episode on TV.
We all have our own favorite TV shows. There are many of us who follow long-standing TV series that have already run for several seasons, and yet we still can`t get enough of them. We always make it a point to never miss even a single episode in the series.
As much as we would want to watch more TV shows, some areas only cater to the radio frequency of local TV stations and these just a few. If we want our TV to have more channels, then we can get a cable access where we have to pay an additional amount. Those who live tight on budget would definitely have to stretch their money to cater to the additional expense.
Having a cable access entitles you to more channels to choose from on your TV. You have the option of watching TV local TV shows as well as shows produced by international channels. There are a lot of US TV series that are popular these days. People who follow US TV series are constantly up on their toes waiting for the next episode to be premiered. The latest episodes are often the topic of discussion between friends who share similar interests and love for a particular TV series. International fans of popular US TV series would definitely love to watch the latest episode at the same time it is being released in the US. We would definitely feel bad if we were the last to be able to watch our favorite TV show. In order to watch it at the same time as it is released in the US, cable access is needed.
Getting a cable access in order to watch a TV program that is aired only once a week hardly seems practical. If you and your friends follow a particular series then perhaps you can pay for the cable access collectively and have a TV night a week. In that way, you and your friends get to bond and share the anticipation and excitement as a new episode of your favorite TV show is premiered.
To fully enjoy watching the series with your friends, it is highly recommended that you watch it in a wide screen TV so it does not get too crowded and uncomfortable. If you do not own a wide screen TV as big as 40 - 52 inches, it is still possible to watch it with a projector. You can simply connect a projector to your small TV and the image is replicated and projected into a wall or any surface, for that matter. It is best. However, if the surface is flat and white and the lights turned off in order to get better visualization.
Watching your favorite TV show in wide screen isn`t too expensive. You can even watch it with your friends. You`re not only sharing the experience of watching your favorite TV show, you also bonding moments to look forward to.
We all have our own favorite TV shows. There are many of us who follow long-standing TV series that have already run for several seasons, and yet we still can`t get enough of them. We always make it a point to never miss even a single episode in the series.
As much as we would want to watch more TV shows, some areas only cater to the radio frequency of local TV stations and these just a few. If we want our TV to have more channels, then we can get a cable access where we have to pay an additional amount. Those who live tight on budget would definitely have to stretch their money to cater to the additional expense.
Having a cable access entitles you to more channels to choose from on your TV. You have the option of watching TV local TV shows as well as shows produced by international channels. There are a lot of US TV series that are popular these days. People who follow US TV series are constantly up on their toes waiting for the next episode to be premiered. The latest episodes are often the topic of discussion between friends who share similar interests and love for a particular TV series. International fans of popular US TV series would definitely love to watch the latest episode at the same time it is being released in the US. We would definitely feel bad if we were the last to be able to watch our favorite TV show. In order to watch it at the same time as it is released in the US, cable access is needed.
Getting a cable access in order to watch a TV program that is aired only once a week hardly seems practical. If you and your friends follow a particular series then perhaps you can pay for the cable access collectively and have a TV night a week. In that way, you and your friends get to bond and share the anticipation and excitement as a new episode of your favorite TV show is premiered.
To fully enjoy watching the series with your friends, it is highly recommended that you watch it in a wide screen TV so it does not get too crowded and uncomfortable. If you do not own a wide screen TV as big as 40 - 52 inches, it is still possible to watch it with a projector. You can simply connect a projector to your small TV and the image is replicated and projected into a wall or any surface, for that matter. It is best. However, if the surface is flat and white and the lights turned off in order to get better visualization.
Watching your favorite TV show in wide screen isn`t too expensive. You can even watch it with your friends. You`re not only sharing the experience of watching your favorite TV show, you also bonding moments to look forward to.
Cancel Your Friendship? Don't Keep Score to Make Sense of Things
As the song says - "No man is an island, No man stands alone." Everyone needs others, whether it's our parents, other family members, or friends. People love to feel a sense of belonging. It helps to boost our self-esteem and self-confidence.
People choose their friends usually because they find that they have something in common. They might live in the same neighborhood, enjoy the same sports, like the same music, or have similar backgrounds. Some adults have been friends since they were children, their husbands or wives eventually become friends, and their children also become friends. These types of friendships are sometimes closer than the relationships between family members.
In order to maintain friendships, respect and appreciation must exist. Friends share problems, secrets, have differences and solve these differences. It is therefore important that friends communicate effectively if their friendships must last. Friends should not allow petty differences to cause problems. There are instances where friendships have come to an unfortunate end due to unresolved differences. This can happen when one friend is tallying score against the other, counting how many mistakes the other has made. This can cause the parties to go into a state of depression and find it hard to form new friendships.
If a friendship is important then the parties will make the effort to salvage it. The friends must focus on the positive attributes of each other, while recognizing that no one is perfect. There is absolutely nothing wrong with friends seeking counseling in order to address their differences. Counseling will help each individual to view the situation which caused the problem more objectively.
Friends should never allow others to separate them by pointing out negatives about other friends. Sometimes other persons are jealous of sound friendships and will stop at nothing to end these friendships. This occurs quite often at work. Partners are sometimes uncomfortable with the type of friendship that the other party might have with another person. They sometimes feel insecure and attempt to end these friendships through the use of cheap psychology. In these cases friends need to recognize the source of their problems and address it.
Friends must always remember what brought them together and should never allow anything or anyone to end their years of valuable friendships. If one person wants to cancel the friendship, the other should give them a little room and see if they come back to their senses.
People choose their friends usually because they find that they have something in common. They might live in the same neighborhood, enjoy the same sports, like the same music, or have similar backgrounds. Some adults have been friends since they were children, their husbands or wives eventually become friends, and their children also become friends. These types of friendships are sometimes closer than the relationships between family members.
In order to maintain friendships, respect and appreciation must exist. Friends share problems, secrets, have differences and solve these differences. It is therefore important that friends communicate effectively if their friendships must last. Friends should not allow petty differences to cause problems. There are instances where friendships have come to an unfortunate end due to unresolved differences. This can happen when one friend is tallying score against the other, counting how many mistakes the other has made. This can cause the parties to go into a state of depression and find it hard to form new friendships.
If a friendship is important then the parties will make the effort to salvage it. The friends must focus on the positive attributes of each other, while recognizing that no one is perfect. There is absolutely nothing wrong with friends seeking counseling in order to address their differences. Counseling will help each individual to view the situation which caused the problem more objectively.
Friends should never allow others to separate them by pointing out negatives about other friends. Sometimes other persons are jealous of sound friendships and will stop at nothing to end these friendships. This occurs quite often at work. Partners are sometimes uncomfortable with the type of friendship that the other party might have with another person. They sometimes feel insecure and attempt to end these friendships through the use of cheap psychology. In these cases friends need to recognize the source of their problems and address it.
Friends must always remember what brought them together and should never allow anything or anyone to end their years of valuable friendships. If one person wants to cancel the friendship, the other should give them a little room and see if they come back to their senses.
Best Friends - Your Gifts More Priceless Than Gold
Who are your best friends--they say the gift of friendship is more priceless than gold. I can remember I was lucky enough to have already found mine as early as grade school. In our journey through life, we encountered tons and tons of people, and some of these strangers have turned into acquaintances. Then, if you're really lucky, some of these acquaintances may form into friendships. Best friends are always there whenever you need them. They share your deepest and darkest secrets with them. Being with them bring about a sense of bonding and camaraderie of like-minded people who enjoy each other's company.
The gift of friendship makes you enjoy life's experiences more and make you grow more as a person. They say that the most effective mirror is your best friend; real friends say it outright if you got some dirt on your face, in contrast to some fair-weathered fake friends who only stab you in the back. Whether young or old, we need our pals despite the changing times in our lives. Despite the changes in our bodies, careers, and relationships, they are here to stay. Our interests may change, we may be distanced by years and miles, but we must learn to strengthen our bond because our best pals are part of our lives.
If we grew far apart through the years, then, there's always e-mail, chat, Facebook, IM, etc. Thanks to the help of technology, it's as if we never really separated and you remain best friends forever
The gift of friendship makes you enjoy life's experiences more and make you grow more as a person. They say that the most effective mirror is your best friend; real friends say it outright if you got some dirt on your face, in contrast to some fair-weathered fake friends who only stab you in the back. Whether young or old, we need our pals despite the changing times in our lives. Despite the changes in our bodies, careers, and relationships, they are here to stay. Our interests may change, we may be distanced by years and miles, but we must learn to strengthen our bond because our best pals are part of our lives.
If we grew far apart through the years, then, there's always e-mail, chat, Facebook, IM, etc. Thanks to the help of technology, it's as if we never really separated and you remain best friends forever
Be a Good Friend For Your Friend
Do you want to have a good friend? Be a good friend. People will love you and consider you as a good friend. There are some ways to make you be better in friendship. In this article, I will give you such beneficial information how to be a good friend. It is rather hard to be a good friend to other people and a reliable person all through. It will be hard to get the affection, admiration and self-assurance of other people, if not and until you have the necessary qualities and traits that are related with being a good friend.
Spend time together and consider your friend as your priority. You should always be there for the bad and the good. Focus on the positive character of your friends if you get quarrel with them. A friendship which is built upon respect, mutual trust, the acceptance of differences, support and the right to be an individual will promote other advantages for example loads of fun times where you party jointly or just associate and share feelings.
Just make your friend feel appreciated and required and demonstrate you do care concerning them. Be truthful. A deceitful person has no possibility of having true friends. Just be respectful and give your friends advice if they have problem. Don't be selfish. Your friend will soon get tired of this and finally move towards more unselfish people who are willing to provide the same as one gets, but a good friend will not insist it, however one might mention being tired of it.
You should understand your friends the way they are. You need to understand how much of yourself you can and you want to give and how much to be expecting from your friends. There requirements to be sympathetic on both sides or there will be upset feelings if and when someone does not survive.
Listen to your friend's feeling and secret. It is really important because it shows how big your attention to your friends. But you should remember the boundaries in friendship. If you cross them, it hurts the friendship, sometimes irreparably. It is very important to know.
In each relationship there is take and give. Individuals give of their attention and time, their love or their money, and take of the same. To be a good friend indicates finding the correct balance of all these things, being watchful to not give over or not enough or you might spoil the entire balance.
Spend time together and consider your friend as your priority. You should always be there for the bad and the good. Focus on the positive character of your friends if you get quarrel with them. A friendship which is built upon respect, mutual trust, the acceptance of differences, support and the right to be an individual will promote other advantages for example loads of fun times where you party jointly or just associate and share feelings.
Just make your friend feel appreciated and required and demonstrate you do care concerning them. Be truthful. A deceitful person has no possibility of having true friends. Just be respectful and give your friends advice if they have problem. Don't be selfish. Your friend will soon get tired of this and finally move towards more unselfish people who are willing to provide the same as one gets, but a good friend will not insist it, however one might mention being tired of it.
You should understand your friends the way they are. You need to understand how much of yourself you can and you want to give and how much to be expecting from your friends. There requirements to be sympathetic on both sides or there will be upset feelings if and when someone does not survive.
Listen to your friend's feeling and secret. It is really important because it shows how big your attention to your friends. But you should remember the boundaries in friendship. If you cross them, it hurts the friendship, sometimes irreparably. It is very important to know.
In each relationship there is take and give. Individuals give of their attention and time, their love or their money, and take of the same. To be a good friend indicates finding the correct balance of all these things, being watchful to not give over or not enough or you might spoil the entire balance.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Revolutionary ways of finding your life partner in 3 days and stay married for life.(Part 1)
This article would help you find your life partner in less than few days if you apply the revolutionary steps pointed out here. Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. Being the right person starts from reading and understanding the precepts of this article.
In the words of Tertullian in response to the question “And when will there be an end of marrying?” He said “I suppose, when there is an end of living.” Marriages would continuously be conducted as long as there is not an end of living. The percentage of marriages that ended up in a divorce all over the world in 2009 is alarming. The reason for this is not far fetched. The more you invest in finding a life partner, the more valuable it becomes.
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr. /Miss. Right!Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good relationship. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: “You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone“; you need a lot more!
Here are questions you should ask yourself:
Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart. Most people out there are growing apart.
To make your marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life and marry someone who wants the same thing.
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished”; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
Is he/she a Socially adjusted, academically good, morally sound, psychologically balanced and spiritually balanced? How can you test this? Here are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A good person is “someone who is always striving to be good and do the right “. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they show gratitude and appreciation?
If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve” them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it: “You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse” If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.
Another perspective…
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention…Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you…the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
“Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye“-African proverb
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren’t really that important.
Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can’t take someone to the altar to alter them. You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay.If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and “a life”; you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship
So you have to:
Be confident.
There’s a thin line between needing someone and being emotionally dependable. Men want to be with a woman, who is aware of her value and makes a free and conscious choice to be with him. Always make spouse to believe you are secure or not in need of security, you immediately become less attractive and practically kill any chance for a relationship If you make him feel that. If a woman doesn’t think that she is worthy of a man's love, why would he think that.
Be what you want him to be.
Rather than find the perfect man, be the perfect woman. Become everything you ever imagined of your dream man. Most women believe that the best and shortest way to a man's heart is becoming exactly what he wants a woman to be. They think that once the man realizes that no other woman is as good to him as they are - he will act rationally and pick them. The problem is that the choices of the heart are often made irrationally. Surprisingly, many men do not tend to choose a woman that will do anything for them, but tend to pick the one that proves to be the most worthy of his efforts.
Be in control of yourself and not him.
The emotional turmoil that accompanies the process of infatuation is a powerful and addictive experience that most women enjoy to be swept away by. However, when a woman shows lack of control over her feelings, especially when she cannot control her reactions to disappointments, anger and insult - most men might give up at that point. You must be emotionally balance and exercise self-control. This is the ideal stability, harmony and security we all wish to find in a good and long-term relationship.
Be wise – rely on inner attraction
While attraction is a prerequisite condition for any healthy relationship, many women rely completely on physical attraction when it comes to choosing their partners. This is a deadly mistake. The most attractive men are usually good looking, funny, self-confidant and experienced - but not necessarily trustful, reliable or ready for a meaningful relationship.
Be sure he is emotional available.
It’s a fact that many men are capable of staying in a long relationship, even when they know it’s not what they wish for. They simply treat the relationship as one of temporary compromise with low self-involvement while waiting for something better to appear.
On the other hand, the woman, who is already developed some feelings, continues to deepen her emotional involvement and wastes precious time and energy on a hopeless relationship that has no potential for growth, commitment or love.
For more on this articles read Revolutionary ways of finding your life partner in 3 days and stay married for life (Part 2)
In the words of Tertullian in response to the question “And when will there be an end of marrying?” He said “I suppose, when there is an end of living.” Marriages would continuously be conducted as long as there is not an end of living. The percentage of marriages that ended up in a divorce all over the world in 2009 is alarming. The reason for this is not far fetched. The more you invest in finding a life partner, the more valuable it becomes.
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr. /Miss. Right!Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good relationship. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: “You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone“; you need a lot more!
Here are questions you should ask yourself:
Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart. Most people out there are growing apart.
To make your marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life and marry someone who wants the same thing.
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished”; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
Is he/she a Socially adjusted, academically good, morally sound, psychologically balanced and spiritually balanced? How can you test this? Here are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A good person is “someone who is always striving to be good and do the right “. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they show gratitude and appreciation?
If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve” them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it: “You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse” If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.
Another perspective…
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention…Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you…the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
“Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye“-African proverb
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren’t really that important.
Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can’t take someone to the altar to alter them. You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay.If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and “a life”; you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship
So you have to:
Be confident.
There’s a thin line between needing someone and being emotionally dependable. Men want to be with a woman, who is aware of her value and makes a free and conscious choice to be with him. Always make spouse to believe you are secure or not in need of security, you immediately become less attractive and practically kill any chance for a relationship If you make him feel that. If a woman doesn’t think that she is worthy of a man's love, why would he think that.
Be what you want him to be.
Rather than find the perfect man, be the perfect woman. Become everything you ever imagined of your dream man. Most women believe that the best and shortest way to a man's heart is becoming exactly what he wants a woman to be. They think that once the man realizes that no other woman is as good to him as they are - he will act rationally and pick them. The problem is that the choices of the heart are often made irrationally. Surprisingly, many men do not tend to choose a woman that will do anything for them, but tend to pick the one that proves to be the most worthy of his efforts.
Be in control of yourself and not him.
The emotional turmoil that accompanies the process of infatuation is a powerful and addictive experience that most women enjoy to be swept away by. However, when a woman shows lack of control over her feelings, especially when she cannot control her reactions to disappointments, anger and insult - most men might give up at that point. You must be emotionally balance and exercise self-control. This is the ideal stability, harmony and security we all wish to find in a good and long-term relationship.
Be wise – rely on inner attraction
While attraction is a prerequisite condition for any healthy relationship, many women rely completely on physical attraction when it comes to choosing their partners. This is a deadly mistake. The most attractive men are usually good looking, funny, self-confidant and experienced - but not necessarily trustful, reliable or ready for a meaningful relationship.
Be sure he is emotional available.
It’s a fact that many men are capable of staying in a long relationship, even when they know it’s not what they wish for. They simply treat the relationship as one of temporary compromise with low self-involvement while waiting for something better to appear.
On the other hand, the woman, who is already developed some feelings, continues to deepen her emotional involvement and wastes precious time and energy on a hopeless relationship that has no potential for growth, commitment or love.
For more on this articles read Revolutionary ways of finding your life partner in 3 days and stay married for life (Part 2)
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