Friendship - Why More Than One Best Friend is Good

When I was a child, I considered the status of "best friend" to be somewhat singular. Out of all your friends, the best would be that one whom you cherished or bonded with the most. It seemed as if you could have many good friends, but only one best friend.

As an adult, I consider it possible to have more than one prime friend. To some, it may seem as though you are not being sincere. After all, some best friends would rarely expect you to have others with that title.

To avoid seeming insincere or indiscriminating may be a matter of semantics. "You are my best friend" implies exclusivity. "You are one of my best!" does not. However, friendship is not about ego-boosting.

The beauty of friendship is that it could exist as one-to-one, one-to-many or many-to-many relationships. These days, more people are becoming connected online and offline. Therefore, it is likely that we would find a lot more people whom we place in our inner circle of friendship.

Friendship is also non-exclusive. In the same manner that you could have more than one friend, there is nothing unethical about having a group of best friends. In fact, you could have a group where everyone is a best friend to others.

Having more than one very good friend demonstrates that you accept diversity. You accept that you do not necessarily have to compare your close friends. Instead, you appreciate what makes them unique. That is a powerful idea indeed. Some people simply avoid discriminating among their close friends. It is not always practical or necessary to sit and wonder which one you value more.

It is all right to have even several best friends because of the different nature of relationships and their various contexts. Your spouse may be one of your best friends. You could have a best friend at the office or at church. It is already difficult to compare people. It is even natural to have several best friends, knowing that there are other close friends from various places and positions.

We all would have (and should have) criteria for choosing friends. Out of this selection, some friends would seem better because they share more interests, are more reliable or shared memorable experiences with you. However, it is wise to move from the singular best friend concept to a plural one. Even the best of friendships is vulnerable. You may be a lot better off having a round table of best friends.