Revolutionary ways of finding your life partner in 3 days and stay married for life.(Part 1)

This article would help you find your life partner in less than few days if you apply the revolutionary steps pointed out here. Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. Being the right person starts from reading and understanding the precepts of this article.

In the words of Tertullian in response to the question “And when will there be an end of marrying?” He said “I suppose, when there is an end of living.” Marriages would continuously be conducted as long as there is not an end of living. The percentage of marriages that ended up in a divorce all over the world in 2009 is alarming. The reason for this is not far fetched. The more you invest in finding a life partner, the more valuable it becomes.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr. /Miss. Right!Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good relationship. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: “You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone“; you need a lot more!

Here are questions you should ask yourself:

Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart. Most people out there are growing apart.
To make your marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life and marry someone who wants the same thing.

Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished”; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

Is he/she a Socially adjusted, academically good, morally sound, psychologically balanced and spiritually balanced? How can you test this? Here are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A good person is “someone who is always striving to be good and do the right “. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they show gratitude and appreciation?
If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve” them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it: “You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse” If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

Another perspective…
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention…Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you…the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

“Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye“-African proverb

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren’t really that important.
Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can’t take someone to the altar to alter them. You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay.If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and “a life”; you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship

So you have to:

Be confident.
There’s a thin line between needing someone and being emotionally dependable. Men want to be with a woman, who is aware of her value and makes a free and conscious choice to be with him. Always make spouse to believe you are secure or not in need of security, you immediately become less attractive and practically kill any chance for a relationship If you make him feel that. If a woman doesn’t think that she is worthy of a man's love, why would he think that.

Be what you want him to be.
Rather than find the perfect man, be the perfect woman. Become everything you ever imagined of your dream man. Most women believe that the best and shortest way to a man's heart is becoming exactly what he wants a woman to be. They think that once the man realizes that no other woman is as good to him as they are - he will act rationally and pick them. The problem is that the choices of the heart are often made irrationally. Surprisingly, many men do not tend to choose a woman that will do anything for them, but tend to pick the one that proves to be the most worthy of his efforts.

Be in control of yourself and not him.
The emotional turmoil that accompanies the process of infatuation is a powerful and addictive experience that most women enjoy to be swept away by. However, when a woman shows lack of control over her feelings, especially when she cannot control her reactions to disappointments, anger and insult - most men might give up at that point. You must be emotionally balance and exercise self-control. This is the ideal stability, harmony and security we all wish to find in a good and long-term relationship.

Be wise – rely on inner attraction
While attraction is a prerequisite condition for any healthy relationship, many women rely completely on physical attraction when it comes to choosing their partners. This is a deadly mistake. The most attractive men are usually good looking, funny, self-confidant and experienced - but not necessarily trustful, reliable or ready for a meaningful relationship.

Be sure he is emotional available.
It’s a fact that many men are capable of staying in a long relationship, even when they know it’s not what they wish for. They simply treat the relationship as one of temporary compromise with low self-involvement while waiting for something better to appear.
On the other hand, the woman, who is already developed some feelings, continues to deepen her emotional involvement and wastes precious time and energy on a hopeless relationship that has no potential for growth, commitment or love.

For more on this articles read Revolutionary ways of finding your life partner in 3 days and stay married for life (Part 2)